


je t'aime tellement

by sinninginstyle (Aissu)



Category: Free!
Genre: Alpha!Rin, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, F/M, First Time, Harassment, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, I promise there's fluff, M/M, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Non-Linear Narrative, Omega!Rei, Original Character(s), POV Alternating, Past Rape/Non-con, Psychological Trauma, Scent Marking, characters updated with chapters!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2018-10-28 09:40:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10828653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aissu/pseuds/sinninginstyle
Summary: The first time Rin sees Rei cry, he feels his heart shatter.(It should be a little easier today, more than yesterday, but the scars that remain don't fade so easily.)





	1. colorer ma vie avec ton sourire (partie 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My own take on RinRei Omegaverse. I don't know. I wanted to explore a more emotional side of a/b/o relationships?? In any case, I'm posting this on a whim (as usual) 
> 
> \- 
> 
> and, sorry for the terrible summary - i'm in a poetic mood but nothing actually makes sense

_**colour my life with your smile (part 1)** _

The first time Rin sees Rei cry, he feels his heart shatter. His fiancé is on the tiled floor, arms wrapped around himself as he sobs. The water continues to drench him, and he doesn't seem to notice that he's still wearing his lab coat.

Rin takes a hesitant step forward, and then he's sliding onto his knees and pulling Rei into a hug.

"Rei! Rei, I'm here."

Rei sinks against Rin, his sobs receding to whimpers and shudders. Rin rubs his hand down Rei's back in circles, muttering whatever comes to mind that could help Rei calm down. They stay like that, long after the only sound is the drizzle of water hitting the floor and Rin's legs start to cramp.

When Rei finally pulls away from Rin, he exhales.

"Sorry." His voice is hoarse.

Rin frowns and pulls Rei up, careful to keep him grounded. "Don't. No apologies."

Rei nods, and his eyes are swollen. He looks exhausted. Rin pulls Rei out of the bathroom and lifts him up, despite the weak protests. He places Rei on the bed and helps him out of his clothes. They're so wet they cling to skin and it's even more difficult to get the jeans off. Finally, Rei is wrapped up in a warm blanket and Rin sets a mug of hot chocolate on the dresser.

Rei's lying on the pillow, his eyes fluttering close. "Drink this before you go to sleep," Rin prods Rei's shoulder, brushing aside a wet lock of hair.

Rei sits up, obedient, and sips the drink, violent tremors running through his body from time to time.  

When he's done, he sinks onto the pillow and curls up. Rin clambers onto the bed and pulls Rei towards him, wrapping one arm around him.

"Sleep, Rei. We can talk at night if you want."

Rei presses his face to the crook of Rin's neck and nods, and then he's asleep within moments. Rin presses a kiss to Rei's forehead, and he wants nothing more than to keep Rei from the world. The alpha in him already understands. His precious mate is soul-hurt. He pulls Rei a little closer to him before drifting off to sleep.

He dreams of a dark night, and Rei standing before a fire that burns so bright it seems to meld with his violet irises.

*******

Rei wakes up with a splitting headache and an itchy throat. He tries to focus on the warmth before him - in the shape of Rin - but even at this distance, he needs his glasses to see clearly. He extricates himself from Rin's hold and fumbles for his glasses. He finds them eventually, cringing when his finger lands on the lenses.

Rei grimaces at the thought of the smudge.

He wants to crawl back into the protective halo of Rin's arms, but he also wants to lean against the headboard and reflect on his day. It's already dark and the only source of light is the dim glow of the lamp on the table.

Rei pushes himself up to sitting and watches his fiancé for a while. How blessed he is, to have such  a feeling and caring lover. _My alpha,_ the omega in him croons.

The immediate sensation is like being doused in cold water. He remembers all too clearly, the deafening quiet that permeated the meeting room. Remembers how he stood up, chair falling to the ground with a clatter. Heart thudding wildly as his 'Senpai' sneered, pointing to Rei. Like he was accusing Rei of his secondary gender, as if he had chosen to be- As if. He clenches his fist, nails digging into his palm.

His research company is reasonable, at least, that what he's believed. They allow the applicants anonymity about their secondary gender. But that doesn't stop the prejudice that permeates the workplace. He's been naïve. That a colleague who guided and taught him, could be so welcoming while working on ruining the career he built himself, just with one image.  

He can't go back. The Director may persuade him - _it doesn't matter, you being an omega, just come back_ \- but he knows better. There's nothing to stop the other scientists from giving him sideways glances and whispering to one another, it doesn't prevent someone from one day trying to use their power over him.

Times are changing. But that doesn't mean people are willing to accept an omega in a coveted career like that of a researcher's, or a scientist's. _He's_ an omega. He knows. There's still pockets of people who claim omegas are merely to be used for pleasure, or breeding. They are worthless as individuals, unintelligent and submissive.

Perhaps being with Rin has made him a little less cautious. He has forgotten how agonising the outside world can be when Rin heals the little nicks in him with kisses and raucous laughter. When Rin treats him like an equal.

He doesn't know exactly when he snapped, but all he remembers is Rin hauling him up from the bathroom floor and onto the bed. He made his way home mechanically, planning to shower and cocoon himself in his room. He didn't even make it that far.

"Rei."

The blue-haired man startles, and he gives Rin a tentative smile. "I hope I didn't wake you up."

"Nonsense," Rin snorts. He props himself up on his elbows before giving up and plopping his head on Rei's lap. "Did you get some sleep?"

Rei nods. "A lot. I'm better now."

"No, you're not," Rin says, matter-of-factly. "You feel like shit and you don't have to bottle anything up. What happened?"

Rei bites his lip, hating the way emotions choke him up all over again, but he's a little relieved. Rin is looking at him, waiting for him to begin. His attention is all on Rei.

So Rei tells him how his senior revealed his omega status to everyone in the meeting room. That's all it is, but it holds so much weight. And Rin understands. He looks more pained by the minute, and he takes Rei's hand into his own, holding it tight.

"I'll resign," Rei says with a shaky breath. "Have to. I can't go back there."

"Wouldn't let you, in the first place," Rin growls. He looks torn, like he has to choose between burning the company down and comforting Rei.

"If I see that fucker, I'll beat him up," Rin's tone is vehement. Rei wants to chide Rin for language, but he can't deny he feels the same way.

"Mn."

Rin looks astonished. "You'd let me?"

"Maybe," Rei admits, chuckling at Rin's expression. "Just a little."

Rin reveals his sharp teeth. "It's on."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah yes REIgret my old friend-  
> (also known as, i wrote this so intensely while commuting i knew i had to post it, but even fate doesn't know if i have the time or ability to finish this)  
> but in any case!! while the fandom continues to dwindle and i am more invested in this ship (And rei) every year, i hope anyone who reads this will like <3  
> posting under this pseud because i really have no clue what's going to happen to the rating 
> 
> \- 
> 
> "there's a lot of french whAT'S GOING ON"  
> i think six years of learning french has caught on, and i can at least guarantee that whatever i post in french is 99.5% likely to be grammatically correct


	2. colorer ma vie avec ton sourire (partie 2)

_**colour my life with your smile (part 2)** _

Later, Rin is still lying in bed, almost dazed as he thinks about how Rei is coping. His fiancé is downstairs now, preparing dinner, and it's one of the activities that calms him down when he's upset. Rin wonders why the world can't seem to treat omegas the same, why they can't see the brilliant minds they're suppressing in their Alpha-worship.

Had Rei been an alpha- No, he stops himself there. Rei is not an alpha, and he will never be.  He is an omega, and so much more. Rin has made little promises to himself, and he won't let anyone hurt Rei like this again. He doesn't want his mate to fall into a pit of self-loathing and pain. He wants Rei to love himself, to keep his confidence afloat and one day, blow away everyone who tries to pull him down because he's an omega. 

*******

Rei isn't a business major, and he certainly has no idea how opening a store for aromatherapy products, but he'll believe in Rin's firm smile and his family's delight. It's no secret that he's always enjoyed dabbling in smells long before he took up his chemical engineering course. The shop is lilac-themed, and butterflies adorn the walls. The store front reads "Butterfly", unsurprisingly. There's an exquisite butterfly at the curl of the "y".

He took almost a year for the opening, and the publicity has paid off because there's a significant number of customers already. Today is a slow day, however, and he sits at the counter, scribbling some formulas to come up with a new essence.

He sometimes feels an acute sense of loss for what used to be his routine - go to the lab, wash the glassware and plan out experiments to test a theory. But his shop allows him a little more flexibility, and he's coming to enjoy the variation that comes with the different customers who come to his shop.

Rei hears the bell chime as someone pushes the door open.

"Welcome!" He smiles, standing to approach the visitor. His heart drops to his stomach when he sees who it is.

"Hello," Mochida smiles. "How's your business going?"

Rei wants to say something rude, but he puts on his charming smile and bows. "If you're here to make a purchase, I shall assist you. But if you aren't, then I must ask you to leave."

"That's no way to treat a customer," Mochida saunters to the counter, leaning in far too close. Rei tries not to wrinkle his nose at the faint whiff of Mochida's scent.

"I heard my ambitious junior started up a shop after resigning. I suppose that wasn't your initial plan? Is it sustainable?"

Rei really wants to connect his fist to Mochida's face.

"Please leave."

"Still so polite. But you don't understand," Mochida tuts. "As an omega, you shouldn't be doing things like this."

"What does me being an omega have to do with my job?" Rei hisses, the strained smile dropping. "If you're here to harass me, I'll call the police."

"The police?" Mochida snorts. "I'm just telling you what you ought to be doing."

Rei grits his teeth and steps in front of the counter. "Leave. Now."

He grips Mochida's wrist and tries to pull him out, but then he's almost overwhelmed by the command Mochida is forcing on him.

_Stay still._

His omega is whimpering. _A_ _lpha, he needs his alpha-_

He gets a grip on himself and forces the heaviness of Mochida's presence off himself. He's a little smaller in terms of build, but he's almost the same height.

"I asked you to leave!" He growls, and he picks up the phone on the counter. "I'm calling the police."

The phone is ripped out of his hand and he's slammed against the counter. His hips hurt on impact and he bites his lip so hard he draws blood.

"Even at work, you were the same," Mochida's face is clouded with disgust. "So wilful. Now that you're not hiding yourself, I can smell you. I bet you couldn't wait to seduce everyone in the vicinity and claw your way up."

Rei knees the man in the groin and stumbles to the door in the brief instant the grip on his wrists loosens. He rushes out and crashes into something hard. He loses his balance, but someone holds him up and he's engulfed in the crash of waves against the beach, and a lingering freshness that's like the aftermath of a morning shower.

Rin tugs Rei behind him, even though they're about the same size and there's no way he can conceal Rei. It doesn't matter, since his size doesn't compare to the magnitude of his fury.

The door chimes again as Mochida exits, his face contorted into a snarl.

When he sees Rin, still clad in his police uniform, he freezes up. But then he sees Rei and the same revulsion makes its way onto his face again.

"I'll fucking kill you."

Rei doesn't register the speed at which Rin grabs the man by the collar and lands a punch straight in his face.

"Tell my colleagues whatever you want," Rin tells Mochida, who's now sporting a broken nose and swelling eye. "But no one will forgive you for what you’ve done."

The man is spluttering, pressing a palm to his bleeding nose. Rei wants so badly to grip the back of Rin's shirt, but he doesn't want to give Mochida the satisfaction of seeing him break down. He takes a shaky step to stand next to Rin, and he holds his chin high. Rei doesn't say anything - he doesn't need to. Mochida seems to understand that he can never bend Rei's will, to make him admit his worth (or lack of), as an omega.

It isn't long before Sousuke marches up and hauls Mochida up, who is watching Rei with a dazed expression. His uncanny gaze doesn't let up until he's shoved into the backseat of the police car and driven away. The whole while, Rin holds Rei's hand tightly.

“So I was thinking, we could grab some tea at Haru’s cafe,” Rin says.

“You’re allowed to run out on your job?” Rei asks, pushing his glasses up. “That’s not responsible, Rin-san.”

Rin looks scandalised.

“My shift ends early today!”

“Are you sure?” Rei folds his arms.

Rin responds by pulling Rei closer and dragging his tongue over the splotch of blood on Rei’s lower lip, making sure to suck on it, and pulls away, smug. Rei looks absolutely flustered and Rin dusts his hands on his suit. His work here is done.

“I’ll come pick you up in about two hours.” He tips his cap, presses a kiss to Rei’s neck and walks off towards the car waiting by the pavement.

Rei covers his scent gland, the embarrassment running down his skin in a red flush. How can Rin turn everything upside down in an instant? His heartbeat has slowed, and his hands aren't so cold and clammy anymore. He gives his bruising hips a light squeeze in an attempt to message them and goes back into his shop.

He has to get rid of any trace of Mochida's scent, or he thinks he might end up puking. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh thank you for all the sweet comments!!  
> i hope you'll enjoy this chapter!


	3. je te veux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is basically smut-  
> (And it's my first time please go easy on me orz)
> 
> \-- 
> 
> Also, this is set before the events of the first two chapters!

_**i want you** _

"Rei, I need help!"

Rei sits up in the armchair, gripping the phone. "What's wrong Gou? Are you hurt?"

"Ah, no, it's just... Too embarrassing to go into this shop. I'm nearby, if you don't mind accompanying me today?"

Rei groans, running a hand through his hair. "Please don't do that. I was really worried for a second there."

He hears Gou's sheepish laugh on the other side. "Where are you? I'll come."

"You're the best! Thanks Rei."

*******

A while later, Gou is tugging on Rei's hand as he attempts to make a speedy escape.

"Rei, please?"

"I won't be welcome there!"

"Nonsense! And you're the only one I can trust with all this," Gou pouts, pulling on the best sad face she can. Rei gives a despairing groan and concedes, to her delight. 

He slowly follows her into the lingerie shop, his skin prickling with embarrassment and beads of sweat running down his face. 

Gou is preparing for her wedding, and she explains her mother didn't have time that week. Being an omega like Rei, she believed that Rei could help her pick out the best. Of course, his taste in everything is a bonus.

As he is gingerly fingering some bras, he feels a presence next to him.

"Hello, Sir. Are you looking for anything in particular?"

"Ah," he turns to the shop assistant, trying to keep his voice even. "It's alright. Thank you."

The employee nods and steps back, letting him browse in peace. Until-

He comes face to face with lacy underwear, with incredible lewd cutting.

"I think this would suit you, Sir. I could show you to another section. 

_Oh God. She thinks he's looking for something for himself._

"It's not for me," he squeaks, as Gou comes up to him, looking over his shoulder with an increasingly roguish look on her face.

She's plotting something.

"Actually, why don't you look for something too?" she asks, her voice honey-like. "I'm sure my brother would like that. 

"Gou!" Rei hisses, stealing a glance at the shop assistant with her neutral expression. "We came for you."

"It's not everyday you do this," she shrugs. "Anyway, what do you think about this?" she asks, holding up a lingerie set. "Do you think Sou will like it?"

Her face reddens.

"In the first place, I don't know what he'd think about my body but you know..."

It's the first hint of insecurity she’s showing about the whole affair. Rei smiles at her, lightly grasping her hand.  

"You're gorgeous, Gou, and I think this will suit you just fine. Don't worry about it. Sousuke-san will be blown away."

"I wouldn't have believed anyone else who said that," Gou laughs, a light pink dusting her cheeks. "Thanks Rei. I knew I could depend on you."

After a moment's pause, she looks up. "Which is why we're getting you something too!"

Despite his protests, she drags him into the men's section and he grows dizzy just looking at all the crazy variations. He feels betrayed when he finds himself wondering what Rin would think if he saw Rei in something like that.

Gou seems to have caught on and she hands him a purple underwear, pointing it in the direction of changing room. Having not much space to say anything, Rei trudges there and changes.

He stares at himself in the mirror, a hot flush creeping up his neck at the way the material wraps around his groin, outlining the shape. The more mortifying part is that the front is translucent, leaving little to the imagination.

Gou knocks on the door and he lets her in. She stares at him with eyes as wide as saucers before a squeal escapes her.

"Rei you look so gorgeous!"

He covers himself, his ears burning.

"We're getting this! No protests!"

As they exit the shop, Gou's scent is gaining an even softer feel to it. She's more than pleased.

"You know how to pull off the thing?"

Rei looks at her, afraid to ask.

"Oh Rei, you two are already Bonded. It's time to spice things up! Here's what. Next time you're on your heat, wear one of Rin's more baggy shirts. Just that. And tell me how it goes."

"I can't believe I let you talk me into these things," Rei mutters. "But... Alright. I'll give it a try."

Gou claps her hands, latching onto his arm. "That's my brother-in-law."

"Rin-san and I aren't-"

"Not yet," Gou shakes her head. "You're both such saps. I bet all my money that Rin's also trying to secretly plan a proposal. I'm his sister, I should know. You better get one up on him, then. Before he does."

Rei laughs. "Thank you, Gou. You're right. I've been waiting for the perfect time for too long."

"Have you told Nagisa?"

Rei ends up having a coughing fit. "What haven't I told him? The hardest part is getting him to keep quiet about it."

Gou chuckles in agreement. They reach her apartment and she gives Rei a tight hug, tiptoeing to press a kiss to his cheek.

"I'll see you around, Rei! Tell me how that goes okay?"

"I will," Rei waves her off, fearing to even look at the bag in his hands.

*******

Rei's heat hits earlier than expected. He leaves the research projects in the hands of his capable co-workers. He's found ways to excuse himself one week every three months, and the higher-ups don't protest about it because of the good quality of his work.

Rin has been working overnight for days on end. Rei manages some coherent thoughts during his pre-heat, wondering if Rin is any state to worry over him when he's already got a lot of work to handle. He decides to wait until his lover gets home.

In the meanwhile, he busies himself cleaning the house and keeping away any potentially dangerous items. Things can get unpredictable sometimes. As he's checking the wardrobe, he catches sight of Rin's old swimming jacket.

Rei pulls it off the hanger, holding it close to his chest and the sharp smell of his mate sends a shiver down his back. He wants to wrap himself in the scent and never let go.

He suddenly remembers what Gou told him.  

Still holding onto the jacket, he looks for the bag he has left at the back of a cupboard where Rin will never find it. He pulls it out, reaching in to pick up the lacy material that slides through his hand. He looks at it, his heart thudding away. Heat pools in his stomach and he bites his lip. Gathers his resolve. And picks it up.

One shower and a little more fumbling later, Rei is staring at himself in the bathroom mirror. He's wearing one of Rin's baggy shirts that covers his thighs, and his Samezuka jacket over it. The scent is overwhelming - it feels like it's seeping into his skin, making him lose whatever little sensibility he has left. He tentatively lifts the shirt, staring at the purple lace peeking through.

He lets the shirt drop over it and scuttles to the bedroom, throwing himself on the bed. After a few minutes of trying to talk himself out of this, he opts to smother himself under the blanket. He falls asleep eventually, discomfort making his stomach squirm.

When he wakes up, Rei feels feverish. He pushes the covers off himself, a gasp tearing through him as the cold air leaves goosebumps along his skin. His legs tremble as he pushes himself onto his knees on the bed, feeling warm liquid trailing down his thighs. His cock is half-hard, and it strains pink against the purple lace. He's probably ruined it already,  what with the slick already leaking out. He desperately wants to touch himself, but he doesn't want to pull Rin's clothing off himself and he's reduced to a mewling mess, ragged gasps filling the room as he palms his erection through his underwear.

Rei lifts his head when he hears the distant sound of a lock. With a hiss, he pushes himself off the bed and pads to the living room.

 _Alpha is here_ , the omega in him croons. _Our alpha is here!_

***

The first thing Rin notices when he steps into the house is how neat it is. Not that it usually isn't, but items are missing from their usual spots, and everything seems to sparkle. What assaults his nose next is a mix of lavender and spring breeze, mixed with something mildly sweet. His body understands before his brain does. Rei's scent has amplified, drifting around the apartment and enticing him.

Rin bolts the door behind him, dropping his bag to the floor.

"Rei!" he calls, hastening his steps to their bedroom.

A warm body collides into his and then hands wrap around his neck. Soft kisses peppered along his jawline. An incredible scent that's making him weak in the knees.

"Rin, Rin, Rin you're home."

When Rei pulls away, Rin's throat goes dry. Blood rushes southward, and he has to hold back a light growl as he takes in Rei's appearance. Reddened cheeks and lips pink from worrying and the heat, violet eyes a little glazed. And he's unmistakably wearing Rin's old jacket. Over his shirt. And, from the looks of it, nothing else.

"Um," Rei says, and Rin is mesmerised by the way his eyelashes flutter as he speaks. "I thought you'd like this." He lifts the shirt up, and this time, Rin _does_ growl. Purple lace panties are wrapped around Rei's hips, and his cock is almost visible behind the patterned white section. It peeks out at the tip, leaking and pink. Rei lets the shirt drop over it, and the look on his face is almost coy.

He doesn't allow Rin a chance to touch him and he dashes to the bedroom. Rin follows, his heart thudding away as his alpha roars to claim his omega right there and then. He holds himself back.

"I'll take a quick shower. I stink," he breathes, unable to tear his gaze away from Rei who is now sitting at the edge of the bed, his chest heaving. His scent gets stronger by the second and Rin almost gives in. Almost.

"Hurry," Rei murmurs.

Rin almost falls trips over a bathroom tile in his haste.

*******

When he steps out, he sees Rei lying on the bed, eyes closed as his hips buck forward. He's making small noises, little gasps and moans that make Rin lose control all over again. The bed dips as Rin crawls onto it, and he's beside Rei in an instant.

"Rin-san," Rei shudders, turning to look at Rin. "Please, please-"

"I know," Rin breathes into the kiss as he captures Rei's lips between his own. He nips and sucks at Rei's soft lips, refusing to let Rei get the upper hand as their tongues slide against each other. There's a wet 'pop' when they part for a brief moment, Rin's hands grazing Rei's chest through the material of his shirt. Rin smothers Rei's moan with his mouth, continuing to trail his hands over Rei's body with feather-like touches.

Rei pushes him away, gasping for breath. "Don't tease me, Rin-san!"

"But you've been such a good boy," Rin smirks, his teeth showing. "I didn't imagine that you'd dress up for me," he emphasises as he palms Rei's underwear, giving it a light squeeze. The sight of Rei writhing beneath him makes his cock ache painfully.

"And to top it off with my jacket?" he whispers into Rei's ears, biting soft flesh whenever it meets his lips. "We'll take our time today, Rei," he looks into his lover's blown eyes. "We've got all week after all."

Rei visibly shudders, covering his mouth as a moan escapes. "Evil," he manages. "You're evil."

"I thought you knew that," Rin chuckles against Rei's throat, enjoying the way Rei's pulse picks up.

He reluctantly pulls away from Rei, tugging at the jacket. "I want you to take the shirt off and just put on the jacket."

Rei flushes a brilliant red, enough to rival his glasses. "That's-"

"Do it," Rin commands, and Rei obeys after a split second, pulling the jacket off himself. As he divests himself of his shirt, he does so slowly. Rin knows he's doing it on purpose - and it's driving him crazy. Rei finally pulls the accursed shirt off himself and wears the jacket again. His nipples harden in the air and beads of sweat trickle down his chest.

Rin releases his cock from the confines of his pants, letting it smack against his stomach. There's a sharp intake of breath from Rei and the omega crawls forward, resting on his elbows as he takes Rin's cock in his mouth. The heat encasing his cock is almost unbearable, and there's something about the way Rei's tongue drags along the vein on the underside, and how he fondles Rin's balls. He can't hold back the groan, bucking his hips up for more of that delicious feeling. He feels the heat coil in his stomach, and the finishing blow is when his eyes meet Rei's, seeing the way his jacket slides down Rei's shoulder a little.

"Rei, let go- I'm close," he wheezes, and Rei lets go of his cock with a ‘pop’, his eyes trained on Rin as he comes, thick white liquid spurting onto the sheets. Rin goes limp, but it won't be long before it's back up again. He releases a shuddering breath and he roughly pulls Rei onto himself, hands on his underwear.

He pushes them down, loves the way Rei grips his shoulders with a gasp. He leans against the headboard, reaching behind Rei to trail the slick back to its source. Rei mewls as Rin's fingers graze the rim, lightly prodding but not pushing in. With Rei resting on Rin's thighs, he can see the way his lover’s expression contorts in disbelief and desperation.  

Rin can't keep this up for much longer. He slides two fingers into Rei's hole, taking delight in the way Rei can't hold back the resulting moans, and he fingers Rei open. The slick is already enough lubricant. Rei's hole twitches as Rin adds in more fingers, relaxing him, and he tightens his hold on Rin's shoulders so hard the redhead knows it'll leave scratches in the aftermath.

"Rin-san, please," Rei sounds broken. "Please please please."

"Please what?" Rin asks.

"Fuck me."

That is his undoing.

Rin grips Rei's hips and guides his cock into Rei's entrance. With one sharp thrust, he's in and Rei cries out, lifting his hips off Rin's thighs ever so lightly. "Let me," he sobs, and Rin lets him push himself on Rin's cock, his eyes squeezed shut and lips parted. He wraps his arms around Rin's neck tight, his blue hair brushing against Rin's cheek every so often. Rin leans forward to take a soft bud in his mouth, rolling it between his teeth and Rei half sounds like he's choking. He gives it one last languid lick before moving to the other one, one hand firmly pressed into the soft flesh of Rei's derriere.

Rei tightens around him, and Rin has to stop all his ministrations for a moment to catch his breath. He looks up at his lover, taking him so deep with abandon, and it fills him with a rush of affection. He plants kisses on exposed skin, wherever he can, and Rei's gasps become sobs.

"I'm taking over," he says, and the omega in Rei hears the undercurrent of his alpha in Rin's tone. He tilts his head, exposing his scent gland and lets Rin push him onto the bed. Rei cries out as Rin persistently rubs against that spot - like fire, scalding but painless, almost excruciating pleasure and he arches his back, words lost.

Rin leans into his neck, planting sloppy kisses before he bites Rei, teeth breaking skin and drawing blood. Their scents mix even stronger than before, and it sends Rei into an even deeper haze.  

"I love you," Rin breathes, with every mind-numbing thrust, even if he doesn't quite form the words. Rei's insides seem to lock down on him, and it's almost painful. Rin comes with Rei's name on his lips, and Rei follows almost immediately. Rin catches his gasps in a soft kiss and continues to pepper him with butterfly kisses.

With a groan, he pulls out. He has to be careful he doesn't knot Rei- He hasn't worn a condom and even if Rei's on pills, he can't be too cautious. Knowing Rei's disposition, he shouldn't have watched as the cum slid out of the omega's entrance, mixed with the cloying scent of the slick. There's a light kick on his back, where Rei has hooked his leg.

"Stop that."

He throws a cheeky grin at his flushed boyfriend and drops onto the space next to him. They lie like that for a while, Rin pushing Rei's hair to the side. It's wet with sweat and sticks to his forehead. Rei leans into him, nosing his scent gland as pleased shivers run through him. Rin bares his neck, lips skimming across Rei's forehead.

Rei looks at him with glistening eyes.

"Rin-san, that's..."

"I want you to do it."  

Rei leans up on one elbow, pressing his lips ever so softly against Rin's scent gland. It doesn't make much of a difference even if an omega bites their alpha's scent gland. But it _means_ the world. An alpha baring his neck to an omega - a sign of absolute and utter trust, submission, even - is almost unheard of. With trembling hands, Rei bites Rin's scent gland, hard enough to see a trickle of blood. He feels like he's being shrouded in his alpha's scent, warm and protective. The stirrings of desire have been abated, for a while, and he's content to lie against Rin, marvelling at how blessed he is.

Eventually, Rin rolls off the bed and busies himself getting a cloth to wipe Rei down and to help him clean up. He brings in a tray with a few bottles of water and a salad.

"Come on, you will starve overnight if you don't eat."

"Thank you, Rin-san," Rei smiles, now dressed in another of Rin's shirts (he fears he's triggered a new obsession), and thankfully, a pair of long pants. The underwear is an absolute wreck, but he supposes he should thank his soon-to-be sister-in-law.

Rin kisses his forehead and sits with him, his eyes drooping from time to time.

Rei finishes his meal and they tuck into bed, wrapped around each other.

*******

When Rin wakes up, he sees Rei standing at the window, peering out. He smells irresistible. His lover turns around to greet him, the sunlight filtering in and brightening violet eyes to a mesmerising lilac.

"Marry me!" he blurts, at the same time Rei takes a step forward and gasps, "Will you marry me?"

They blink at each other for a few seconds before they dissolve into laughter. Rei slides onto the floor, resting his chin on the edge of the bed as he chuckles. Rin pushes himself forward on his elbows and nuzzles Rei's nose.

"I guess that means 'yes'."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH _I'M _SO MORTIFIED-__  
>  First of all, I have never believed I could write satisfactory smut so,,  
> And well, please let me know if you enjoyed /ugly sobbing I know there's a lot to improve on and it's my first time and it's just klasdsaj
> 
> And: there isn't much sequence to this fic, I suppose? It's like watching an episodic anime. 
> 
> I'm going to go drown in a pool of shame and perhaps update soon, or in December. I don't have much time to spare with exams looming up, sadly ;; 
> 
> AND THAT END - where both of them threw their plans to the wind and proposed. i am,, ded 
> 
> (kudos to gou best girl)


	4. doux rêves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of past rape**
> 
> !! this chapter contains a lot of sensitive things and if it affects you, please turn away

_**sweet dreams** _

"Rei!"

He looks up from his phone, a smile blooming on his face.

His lover is sitting a few tables away with the others whom Rei assumes are his colleagues. Rin waves him over and Rei walks up to them, offering them a bow in greeting.

"Oh, it's the famed husband!" One of the men chuckles, his twinkling grey eyes on Rei.

"Famed?" Rei turns to Rin, wrinkling his nose. "What kind of lies are you feeding them?"

"Lies!" Rin grasps his chest in mock hurt. "I only tell them how cute you are. Like when you ask me to help look for your glasses when they're right on your head."

Rei groans and the group bursts into laughter.

"Do you want to join us for dinner?" Rin asks, patting the empty seat on his right. "We just ordered."

"Is it alright?" Rei asks, looking around at the table. "I hope I won't be intruding."

"Nonsense!" the others insist that he sit with them and tell them about Rin's antics at home. He's more than willing to oblige, so he takes the seat, smiling to Sousuke on his right in greeting. Rin's hand snakes into his, their matching silver bands glinting in the light.

As much as Rin wants to introduce his husband to his team, he feels the urge to make clear that the purple-eyed beauty is absolutely his and if anyone looks at Rei the wrong way-

"Rin, loosen up," Sousuke snorts. "No one's trying to steal your husband."

Rei chokes on the glass of water a waiter has offered, while the others go into another laughing fit. Rin scowls and only tightens his grip on Rei's hands.

"What did I miss?"

It's a new, unfamiliar voice. When Rei looks up, he sees a young man with jet black hair and soft brown eyes. He offers a smile, which Rei returns. Within that instant, they've both recognised each other as amegas. It comes naturally for them, sensing an amega in the vicinity. It's a chance to make a friend, and to form a supportive community, especially for omegas who are more vulnerable.

"I'm Shimura Touya," he says, as he takes the last empty seat on the other side of Rin.

"Nice to meet you," Rei inclines his head. "I'm Rei. Matsuoka Rei."

Rin feels a thrill upon hearing that. It's not often he gets to hear Rei introduce himself.

"Ah," Shimura says, his eyes lingering on their entwined hands. "You're Rin-senpai's husband. We always hear about you."

Rei isn't sure whether to smile or cry. "I can't decide if it's anything good."

"Don't worry about it," Shimura says, cryptic, and Rei lightly kicks Rin under the table.

Rin only snickers. "Anyways, Shimura's new."

"I only joined a few weeks ago," the boy nods.

"He's a good kid," Rin says, ruffling Shimura's hair. "Enthusiastic about the job. Shimura's my temporary partner since some guy is off having fun on another case."

Sousuke rolls his eyes. The rest chuckle at that, and Rei feels comfortable in their presence. Rin has some very good coworkers.

"How old are you, Shimura-san?" Rei asks, turning to the boy.

"Turning twenty-two soon," he grins. "It feels good to work with the team. They've taught me a lot."

"It's not an easy job," Rei nods. "It's truly admirable that you've made it so far at such a young age."

"Thanks," the boy grins, rubbing the back of his head. "Hearing that from you makes me happy, Rei-san."

Rei blinks in surprise. "It does?"

"Yeah. I've heard about your shop and I know there's a lot of success stories about successful businesses, but it isn't always easy." _Being an omega._

Rei beams. "Thank you."

Shimura grins back and Rin clears his throat. "How about we move on to actually eating?"

Rei shares some of his food with Rin out of habit, feeding him some of his chicken with the chopstick, and it isn't until Rin chomps on it that they realise everyone's staring at them. Dear god.

"Fuck off," Rin grumbles, a light blush rising up his cheeks and Rei looks away, coughing in embarrassment.

"You two are sickeningly cute," Yukimura laughs.

They flounder for a while, but the conversation picks up about work cases and Rei leans into Rin, content with finishing his meal while listening to their animated banter. When they're done, they stand up and exchange goodbyes. Shimura grips Rei's hand firmly and shakes it.

"I hope we'll meet again, Rei-san."

"Me too," Rei replies. The boy has a lot of potential.

They part ways with everyone, Rei's arm looped through Rin's, the warm food settling in his stomach and making him sleepy. Rin yawns.

"After we get home, it's straight to bed."

"No complaints there," Rei murmurs in response.

*******

  
Rei is sifting through the laundry, picking up Rin’s worn uniforms and sorting them out for washing. He drops the shirt with a jerk.  
  
It smells different.  
  
It’s not obvious, but if he stays still long enough, a scent he’s never noticed before seeps into his nose. It’s an omega scent-marking. He knows. He does that to Rin without his partner even realising.  
  
Omega scent-marking isn’t often discussed, and Rei suspects most alphas don’t even know such a thing exists. Unlike an alpha scent-mark that effectively lets everyone in the vicinity know who the omega belongs to, an omega one is more of a reassurance to the omega that their mate is theirs, and that other omegas should stay away from them.  
  
His scent mark is completely drowned out by this new scent. It makes his stomach churn. It has a tinge of spice to it, something that burns his eyes and he resists the urge to rip the shirt apart and throw it into an incinerator. There's something awfully familiar about it, and he can't put his finger on it.  
  
The discomfort stays at the pit of his stomach and he hates feeling that way. When Rin comes home, he practically flies to the door.  
  
"Whoa!" Rin laughs, planting a kiss on his forehead. "Missed you too, darling."  
  
Rei's heart swells, but he can't stop himself from taking a sniff when he hugs Rin.  
  
He recoils.  
  
Rin looks utterly perplexed. "What's wrong?"  
  
"It's nothing," Rei shakes his head, taking Rin's briefcase from his hands. "I remembered that I forgot to do something."  
  
"Something more important than hugging me?" Rin asks, an eyebrow raised. Rei chuckles and gives him a light shove.  
  
"There's a lot of things like that."  
  
Rin pouts as he pulls off his shoes, balancing himself with one hand on the wall. "Something smells good. I'm starving. We had a stake-out and it overran everything."  
  
Rei laughs. "I thought police academy trained you for that."  
  
"Well you can't particularly be patient about devouring your lover's cooking, can you?"  
  
Rei snorts and leads the way to the kitchen, Rin following with a goofy smile on his face.  
  
Later that night, when Rin pulls Rei flush against his chest, Rei projects his scent on his alpha as much as he can.  
  
_Our alpha,_ his omega hisses, fierce and possessive. _Ours._

*******

It's all for naught.  
  
Rei realises with growing horror that the unknown omega is trying to lay a claim on Rin and he's doing the unthinkable - overriding Rei's scent marking. It's on purpose, definitely. He has his suspicions, but he doesn't want to jump to conclusions.  
  
On a day that the shop is closed, Rei strides to the police station. He sees Yukimura and asks about Shimura's whereabouts.

With a deep breath, he enters an empty room where he was told he can wait for the officer.  
  
Rei watches him, silent, as Shimura enters the room and takes a seat before him. When he inhales the omega's scent, Rei know he's the one. He's distantly shocked.  
  
"How can I help you, Rei-san?" Shimura asks, with a smile on his face.  
  
"I'd appreciate if you stop whatever you're trying to pull."  
  
A delicate raise of a brow. "Meaning?"  
  
"You know what I mean," Rei curls his lip. "It's inexcusable that you're projecting your scent on my mate."  
  
"Ah, so that's what this is about," the young man gives him an almost patronising smile. It makes Rei's blood boil. What has happened to that pleasant boy from the dinner?  
  
"Well, no one said an alpha can't have one or more mates, right? That's how it was in the past anyways. Besides, it's not your decision. It's Rin's."  
  
Rei shoots up, and his seat topples to the ground. He grabs the man by the collar, police officer be damned.  
  
"He's my mate. And mine alone."  
  
"Hey, calm down. I don't see why you're so upset." Shimura shoves his hands away. "Rin's a great alpha. Of course I want someone like him. Do you know how hard it is, being an omega in this career?"

"It's like that for everyone, isn't it?" Rei narrows his eyes. "You make it sound like others have it easy."

"You're so sheltered," Shimura sneers. "You certainly haven't had to experience alphas coming on to you, trying to rape you just because you smell so good they can't keep their dicks in."  
  
Rei is horrified and nauseous. His head is spinning. Flashes of memory, suffocating him. He tries to keep his breath even, but he has to clutch his chest and press his hand down on the table to keep from collapsing. Before anything else can happen, the door slams open and Sousuke barges in. He takes Rei's hand, rubbing his hand down his back.  
  
"Rei, breathe!"  
  
"I'm fine," he gasps. He heaves a shuddering breath, only a little ways from having a full breakdown.  
  
Shimura's gaze on him is neutral. "You should go home and rest," he says, before exiting the room.  
  
Rei watches him, his heart thudding in anger. If his legs didn't feel so weak, he would've chased after Shimura. Sousuke can only wonder what triggered Rei's panic attack. He's often composed and the voice of reason in conflict situations, so seeing him so unsettled is worrying.  
  
"Rei, talk to me. What happened?"  
  
"Sousuke-san," Rei turns to him, violet eyes not meeting his. "When will you begin working with Rin-san again?"  
  
"About three days or so," Sousuke says. "Why?"  
  
He sees Rei clench his fists.  
  
"I see. Thank you. I'm sorry about the trouble I've caused," Rei murmurs. "If it's alright with you, could you see me out?"

"Of course," Sousuke gives his arm a reassuring squeeze. As he watches Rei get into the cab, he pulls out his phone and calls Gou.

*******

  
Rei is lying bed, burying his head under the pillow. He vaguely hears something like the doorbell, until he realises with a start that it _is_  the doorbell.

He opens the door to see Gou with a bright smile on her face, and a bag in her hands.

"Hey Rei! Sorry for dropping by unannounced. Is it okay if I come in?"

"Sure, come in," he leads her in, locking the door behind her. "What brings you here today?"

"Sou called," she says, confirming Rei's suspicions. "I wanted to talk to you."

"I'm fine now," he says, looking at his bare toes.

"Really?" Gou asks, and there's that tone in her voice that he hears in Rin all the time. When they know he isn't quite telling the truth.

"Not really," he admits, finally.

"Come on," her fingers lightly graze his elbow. "Let's talk in your bedroom. The bed is so fluffy."

He smiles at that and nods, letting her lead the way. They share the cakes she bought as they talk, and Rin recounts what happened. Gou chews aggressively on the cake, her red eyes glinting.

"How does my brother not realise?"

"I didn't either, until today," Rei sighs. "We're married, he knows that. It's so upsetting that he's overriding my scent mark."

Putting the plate on the dresser, Gou flops onto the bed with a displeased sound. "You should tell Onii-san."

She picks up a shirt Rin has left haphazardly on the floor in his morning rush and smells it, her face contorting.

"You're right. It's definitely not yours."

"Will he believe me?" Rei asks, wringing his hands together.  
  
"Shove his clothes in his face. I think that's telling enough."  
  
"But this is his co-worker we're talking about. What if it sours because of me?"  
  
"That's stupid of you to worry about. You're the one ending up hurt, Rei." Gou draws closer, fingers on Rei's knee.  
  
"What triggered you?"  
  
Rei doesn't want to talk about it. But he knows he has to. Shimura's words still ring clearly in his ears.  
  
He repeats it to Gou, wincing at the way her face twists with rage.  
  
"I just wish I could forget about it," Rei sighs, tightening his grip around the plushie in his arms. It's a big shark plushie Nagisa bought for their housewarming.  
  
Gou pulls Rei's head to her lap and combs her fingers through his hair.  
  
"If only it were that easy," she murmurs, and she continues to massage Rei's scalp until his eyes flutter close.  
  
Gou gently shifts Rei's head off her cramping leg and lets him on the pillow. She curls up next to him, thoughts straying to their third year of high school.

*******

Gou is looking for Rei. She, Nagisa and Rei grew close during a camp held earlier on in the year and they became a tight bunch. She needs to borrow Rei's notes, which he has promised to pass to her after school ends. She catches one of his classmates passing by and he nods.  
  
"Ryuugazaki? Saw him going to Akadama-sensei's office."  
  
Gou thanks him and hurries along. She needs to be home soon to help Rin prepare a surprise dinner for their mother. It's her birthday.  
  
She knocks lightly on the door to the office, but there is no response. After a minute or so, she frowns. Perhaps he already left his office?  
  
As she turns around, she hears a muffled sound.  
  
Gou pauses.  
  
There's that sound again, and Gou suddenly smells it. She sensed it on Rei yesterday, except now it's tenfold stronger and it makes _her_ shiver. There's a thump and she hears a loud curse. Gou's heart thuds wildly.  
  
She tries to push the door open, but it's locked.  
  
"Hey, open the door!" she shouts, pounding on it. There's no one else walking down the hallway because Akadama's office is all the way at the end of the facility. Panic runs through her, and she whips her phone out dialling Nagisa's number.  
  
_"Gou! What's up?"_  
  
"Nagisa," she says, and she realises she's crying. "Please, please send help!"  
  
_"What's wrong?"_ Nagisa's voice goes lower.  
  
"I don't know!" she gasps, and she hears another thud. "Something's wrong! Rei's in Akadama-sensei's office, but it's locked. Nagisa, I think he went into heat."  
  
Nagisa goes still on the other end of the line. _"Okay. Take a deep breath. See if you can anything to break the door or window with. I'll get some teachers! Be safe!"_  
  
The line goes dead and Gou stands frozen for a while, before she rushes up to the windows. The curtains are drawn and she can't see anything except faint shadows. She runs up the hallway, looking for anything heavy enough to bash the wooden door in with. She finds one of the large props from the set that the drama club uses. It's right outside their clubroom. It's almost the same height as her, but she drags the wooden thing to the office and hits the door with it.  
  
"Open up!" she screams.  
  
The wood splinters and pierces her hands, but she's focused on knocking the door down. The door doesn't budge, and Sou's vision is blurred with tears. She screams when someone runs up to her and tries to take the object out of her hands.  
  
"Gou!" Nagisa's voice is familiar, soothing. "Gou, it's okay. The teachers have the spare key. They can open the door from outside."  
  
She finally lets go, leaning against her friend as the principal unlocks the door and barges in. There's a startled shout and Gou pulls out of Nagisa's grip to follow them in. Nagisa runs after her.  
  
Her heart stops. In that moment, the world stands still and implodes.  
  
The teachers are pulling Akadama away from Rei, whose eyes are closed, lying limp on the table. His eyes are closed, blood leaking from the side of his mouth. But that's not the only place he's bleeding. Gou covers her mouth, following the trail of pale white splatters over his person, to where rough fingers have bruised his thighs and spread his legs apart. Something in her snaps.  
  
She hauls the wooden prop with more force than she ever thought herself capable of, and she runs at the teacher who has violated a boy she loves as dearly as her brother, who has taken advantage of his vulnerable position to do the unthinkable. He's still struggling against the firm grip of the teachers, and he looks at Gou with wide eyes.  
  
"Gou, stop!" Nagisa cries in her ear, pulling her back.  
  
"Let me go!" she shouts. "Let me go, Nagisa! He doesn't deserve to live, he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't-"  
  
"Gou!" Nagisa's piercing voice snaps her to her senses, and he gently pries the prop out of her hands. More teachers arrive, with the security guards in tow. They take Gou and Nagisa with them, Rei's body covered in a blanket. Her sobs are the only thing that echo in her ears for a while.  
  
They call Rei's parents in to accompany him to the hospital, and they get both Gou's and Nagisa's families as well. They wait outside as the doctors do checkups on the omega, and the doctor comes outside to have a quiet word with Rei's parents.  
  
A nurse treats the cuts on Gou's hands and then her brother is beside her, engulfing her in a tight hug and pressing a kiss to her forehead. The dam bursts and Gou wails, burying her face in Rin's shirt. He's crying too, because she can feel the wetness on her hair, but they hold each other tight, because someone they love has been hurt and it feels like nothing will ever be the same again. Nagisa comes and stands by the doorway, watching them, his lower lip trembling. He rushes into the two of them, his own sobs intermingling with theirs.  
  
She and Nagisa have to see counsellors. She has nightmares about it for weeks, but she can't imagine Rei's pain. It's driving her brother mad, too, because they were so happy together. But Rei has refused to see anyone except his immediately family. She can't come to understand even a fraction of his pain.  
  
One day, she gets a call from Nagisa. That Rei wants to see them. She practically flies to the door, and then takes a cab to the hospital. She and Nagisa enter the hospital room, holding hands. Rei is lying up on the hospital bed, his eyes on them. He's not quite smiling, but there's a trace of it, along with dark circles around his eyes. He's holding hands with Rin who's sitting by the bedside, never once looking away from Rei.  
  
Gou wants to run into his arms, but she's not sure how close she can get. Nagisa seems to be itching to do the same.  
  
"I heard you guys were the ones who called for help," Rei says, after a moment. His voice is rough. And then his face crinkles into a smile as he pulls his hand out of Rin's, and holds out his arms. Gou closes the distance with a sob, wrapping her arms around Rei. Nagisa joins her, and their soft cries mingle as Rei hugs them tight, not making a sound.  
  
Rei's grades drop in school, but they give him the option of redoing the whole year if his goals are the same as before. He decides to do that, takes the rest of the months off school until the next year.  
  
It takes two years before he stops trying to convince Rin to break up with him. Another two, when he finds he's comfortable with intimacy. When Rin's touch doesn't remind him of a dark room, unbearable heat and unwanted hands on his body. Rin's always more possessive of him after that. But he doesn't mind. The firm, red-eyed gaze placates the doubts residual in his body, and he knows they'll last a lifetime. Words whispered against his skin, gentle touches. Never bruising. No pushing, no hitting. No, no pain. With Rin, it's always gentle. Comfortable. And on the nights he shies from touch, Rin gives him his space. He learns to face the nightmares; it's never easy, but seeing the unadulterated joy on Rin's face when he initiates something is worth it. Because the love pressed to his skin is real, and he learns to believe it.

***

When Rin enters the apartment, it's dark. He notices a familiar set of shoes in the hallway and he walks into the bedroom. Sure enough, Gou is there, curled up against Rei's chest. The two of them are insufferably adorable. He leaves them be and prepares dinner. It's been a while since he's cooked for Rei, given his busy schedule the past week. As he sets about making dinner, he hears the stairs creak.  
  
"Rin-san?"  
  
"Hello, sleepyhead," he smiles at the sensation of arms wrapping around his waist. Rei presses a kiss to his shoulder.  
  
"You're back early today."  
  
"Yeah. Sou managed to close his case today, so he came over to help us."  
  
Rei doesn't reply, and sits at the counter to watch Rin moving about.  
  
"What's up?" Rin asks, curious about Rei's pensive mood.  
  
Before Rei can reply, he hears the telltale patter of feet down the stairs and Gou walks into the kitchen.  
  
"Onii-san!"  
  
"What're you doing here, you invader?"  
  
"Rude," Gou grumbles. Just then, her phone rings and she picks it up from her bag where she has left it on the table. "Ah, Sou? Yeah, yeah I'm here. Mm." She glances at Rei. "Yeah. I'm leaving soon. Love ya," she laughs.  
  
"I'll go on home. Sou's probably starving."  
  
"You don't want to take some dinner with you?" Rei asks.  
  
"It's fine," she smiles. She gives Rei a meaningful look. "You two can talk. I won't bother."  
  
With a quick kiss to Rei's cheek, and a tight hug to Rin, she leaves.  
  
Rei dreads the conversation he has to bring up. His heart is constricting.  
  
"Rei?" Rin places the pot on the stove, wiping his hands on the dishcloth before taking a seat next to his husband. "What's wrong? You seem down."  
  
"I'll tell you after dinner," Rei nuzzles Rin's nose. "Promise."  
  
Rin looks reluctant, but he agrees and they talk about Rin's day over dinner, and plans to eat at Haruka's over the weekend. Later, when they're both washing the dishes, Rei starts talking.  
"Ah. Well, I went to talk to Shimura-san today."  
  
Rin looks up from his task, eyebrows quirking up. "Shimura? Why?"  
  
Rei swallows. "He's- He's been overriding my scent mark."  
  
Rin pauses. Pales a little. "Are you serious?"  
  
Rei bites his lip. "It's all over your clothes. He's doing it on purpose. So I went to talk to him today. Tell him to stop doing it." Closes his eyes and takes a shaky breath. "But then he said something and- I- I had another attack."  
  
It fills him with shame. Makes him feel weak. He shouldn't have been so affected, yet here he is, still trying to stop his fingers from trembling at the remembrance of the words. He's been doing so well these past few months, yet it feels like everything could crumble with just a light push.  
  
"God, Rei," Rin's arms engulf him and then there are endless kisses on his forehead. "How did I not realise? I'm the worst."  
  
"You're not," Rei clutches at Rin's clothing. "You're not! You're too good to me," he whispers. "I couldn't even hold my ground against him. All I could was watch him walk away."  
  
"Rei, you're strong," Rin is whispering into his hair. Reverent. "You're doing just fine. You've accomplished so many things. We all have things that make us weak, right? That doesn't invalidate you." He bends his head to lightly bite Rei's scent gland. The calming scent of his alpha courses through his body, and the thud-thud of Rei's heart slows down. He's in a halo of warmth, care and protection. Rin's not angry.  
  
"I won't be working with Shimura from tomorrow on, anyways," Rin assures him. "And if he comes on to me, I'll let him know his advances aren't welcome. I love you, Rei. I promised you then that I'd protect you, and I'm reminding you now. I plan to do that forever."  
  
Rei wraps his arms around Rin's waist, burying his face in his clothing. Nods.  
  
"Okay."  
  
That's good enough for Rin. He catches his husband by surprise and lifts him up. "Off to bed you go."  
  
Rei doesn't struggle, only buries his face in Rin's neck and worries his scent gland.  
  
He falls asleep almost immediately, despite his earlier nap. He's not haunted by nightmares, only the fresh reminder of Rin's presence.  
  
He doesn't smell Shimura on Rin anywhere after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my heart aches sigh  
> this could've been further developed, but i've been feverishly writing, and trying to figure out how to write this chapter  
> i rewrote it 3 times, and this is what it became. i really don't have time to write after this week because my exams are close, so i'll most likely post one more chapter and that'll be it until december-ish.  
> >>in the first chapter, it's the first time rin sees rei cry - but? how?  
> i believe rei hid his tears from rin. always. at least, until later when he comes to term with some parts of his experience, especially after their marriage.


	5. (pas) un coup de foudre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> or: the one where they meet each other for the first time

_**(not) love at first sight** _

Rei is sitting at the poolside, watching Nagisa swim with his club. It's a rare day that the track team isn't having training and he's since long acceded to his best friend's incessant pleading. Watching the effortless way the swimmers move from one end to the other is fascinating. If given the chance, he thinks, he would like to pick up swimming when he can.

Eventually, they haul themselves out of the water when the afternoon light starts to fade. They have to drag Haruka out because he looks more than ready to spend the rest of his life in the pool. Much like how he feels when he watches the seniors make the dash, Haruka leaves an unforgettable impression on Rei. He feels inspired when he sees Haruka's graceful strokes slicing the water. It's almost hypnotic. Nagisa nudges him, still dripping wet.

"Hey, why don't you stop ogling Haru-chan and look at me instead?"

"I wasn't ogling!" he splutters, standing up. His feet are all wrinkled from being immersed in water for too long.

"Nagisa-senpai, don't bully him," Tanaka slings his towel over his shoulder as he heads towards the showers. "Haruka-senpai's wild spirit can't be helped."

Haruka ignores all of them and gazes at the water. It's Makoto who presses his hands on Haruka's back and pushes him towards the showers. "Thanks for sitting in for Gou today, Rei," he smiles.

Rei shakes his head. "It's no problem, Makoto-senpai."

Gou is the team manager, but she has other school activities and Nagisa asked Rei if he could take over her duties for the session. He's already caught up with his schoolwork so he agreed. It's only been a few months since he met Nagisa since they ended up in the same class, but the boy has already barged into his life and become an unshakeable pillar of support. He drags Rei around when he's cooped up at home and introduced him to the Iwatobi Swimming Club. He's grown fond of Haruka and Makoto, and Tanaka, who's the only first-year in the club.

He's been over to Makoto's house on occasion, to celebrate Tanaka's birthday and to have some study sessions. He doesn't get to know Gou well until the mid-year camp and she ends up in the same group as him and Nagisa. She's an omega like himself, and Makoto, and she's firm and enthusiastic at the same time. He's drawn to her personality, and she even takes to discussing training regimes with him.

He finds out that she has a brother. She explains he's back in Japan this year, after spending his younger years training in Australia. Rei is curious upon hearing that the members of the Iwatobi Swim Team, save for Tanaka, were all good childhood friends with Rin.

Gou excitedly tells him about a joint swim practice she's planned with her brother's school, and Iwatobi. However, Rei realises that the aftermath has left Haruka more distant, dejection lingering in his eyes. Nagisa lets it slip that Haruka isn't on good terms with Rin any longer, and that the other boy has become incredibly aggressive. Almost unrecognisable. Rei finds all this ridiculous, and even more so, when he realises just how much it hurts Haruka.

"Haru-chan quit competitive swimming because he felt so bad about it," Nagisa sighs. "I wish he and Rin-chan would just make up."

"Why don't they?"

"I don't know," Nagisa rests his chin on his knees. "Rin-chan's making it hard for Haru-chan. I miss the times we had together. Swimming with him was so fun! But after he came back, he was so different."

Rei sighs and pats Nagisa's back. He doesn't like seeing Haruka so upset either.

*******

Rei is done with Track for the day and he thanks Sera before heading off the field. He's utterly spent, but satisfied with his performance today. He pulls off his sports glasses, squinting in the bright glare of the sun. His track shirt clings to his skin, and he desperately needs a shower. He's walking towards the classroom blocks when he sees a group of students in white uniform. He blinks. They look intimidating, and Iwatobi students skirt around them, throwing curious glances their way. Startling red hair catches Rei's attention, and he watches the boy at the head of the group, a bag slung over his shoulder. His hair falls over his face in messy strands that Rei has to reluctantly decide is attractive. There's something about him that seems familiar, but Rei can't quite put his finger to it.

He's looking around, and then his gaze lands on Rei. The omega blinks, embarrassed that their eyes met (because he was most certainly not staring!) and he decides to make a move on.

Unfortunately, his plans are ruined.

"Hey, wait!" The redhead approaches him. "Do you know where the swimming pool is?"

Rei scrunches his eyebrows, before it strikes him. The uniform is Samezuka's. So this boy must be Rin. Gou's brother. Also, Haruka's tormentor. He presses his lips in a thin line.

He nods, stiff, and he feels doubly awkward leading the outsiders to the pool. Gou is waiting for them, and her eyes fall on Rei in confusion before she offers them a bright smile.

"Did you get lost, Onii-chan?" she asks.

"Of course I didn't," Rin snorts. "Thanks, kid," he nods to Rei.

Rei bristles.  _I'm not 'kid'. I'm Rei._  

He bites his tongue because he doesn't know Rin, and he's still Rei's senior by a year. As he attempts to walk back the way he came, his shoe squeaks over a wet tile and he almost tumbles forward, only Rin catches him around the waist and sets him upright.

"Careful," he says, and Rei accidentally takes a whiff of his scent as he looks up into crimson eyes. Mortified, he steps back and mumbles a 'thank you' before rushing off, the tips of his ears tinged red. He can't believe himself! The very idea that Rin smelled good is preposterous. Heart thudding, he wills the heat in his cheeks away and runs all the way to the Track and Field club room where he has left his things. It takes a few hours for the scent to fade from memory.

*******

On a sweltering Tuesday, Rei realises he left his notebook at the poolside and he rushes back. He can't afford to lose it. It contains all the notes he made in class and the exams are just a few weeks away. As he runs up the steps to cross the length of the pool, he hears a loud splash and a growl of frustration. He stops in his tracks, startled. There shouldn't be anyone here at this time.

He sees familiar red hair and his breath catches in his throat. Matsuoka Rin pulls himself out of the pool, his eyes dark and gaze downcast. He looks - dejected. As if something pains him. He sees Rei and the omega straightens his back, clenching his fists.

"Are you okay?" he asks, despite himself.

The older boy nods. "I was just leaving."

"Where's the rest of your team?" Rei asks.

"I asked them to go ahead," Rin responds, striding to the pool benches where there's a lone bag.

As Rei watches his retreating back, he wonders what the story behind those tense shoulders is. There's something heavy about him, suffocatingly melancholy. He's only heard about Haruka and Rin from Nagisa.

"Um," he starts. "Can I ask you something?"

"Me?" the redhead asks, in the midst of drying his hair with his towel.

"How do you feel about Haruka-senpai?" Rei blurts, having a wonderfully grip on finesse and all.

"Hah?" Rin turns, his eyes narrowing. "What's that to you?"

"I just-" Rei pauses, trying to find the words. "I think you're being unfair! These days Haruka-senpai always looks so sad, like he can't bring himself to step into water. But the Haruka-senpai I know can't even keep away from it for one second."

"Who are you to interrogate me like this?" Rin hisses, throwing the towel onto the bench. Rei tries not to quake as the foreboding scent of an irate alpha reaches him. "Why the fuck is that any of your business?"

"Because I won't stand for it anymore! He's a good friend of mine, and he inspires me!" Rei cries.

"That's not my problem!" Rin seethes, baring his sharp teeth.

Something in Rei snaps. He grabs the alpha's shoulders without thinking, sending him stumbling a few steps back.

"Like hell it isn't! I saw old pictures of you, always smiling with them! What happened after you went abroad? And if beating Haruka-senpai in the last race was supposed to help you move on, why are you still participating in their relay?" Rei can't stop the waterfall of words, the indignation and anger gushing out.

"What do you want, then?" Rin growls, as he rips Rei's hands off himself and grabs Rei's shirt collar instead.

"I want them to be happy. To be the top team, like they wish. Isn't that what _you_  wanted, once?" Rei says, gaze unwavering. Rin's grip on his collar loosens and he pulls away.

"That's all I have to say," he mutters, the adrenaline draining out of him, and he grabs his notebook and runs out of the poolside, his heart still thudding from the rush of emotion.

*******

Rei has his own upcoming track competitions, so his training schedule doesn't allow him the time to go watch the Iwatobi Swim Team at the prefectural. He tumbles onto the mat, red eyes flashing in his memories and he wishes the accursed image of the alpha would just leave him.

"Rei? You alright?" Sera bends over him. "You seem a little out of it today."

Rei blinks furiously, sitting up. "I'm fine! Just worried about some friends, that's all. I'm sorry for being distracted."

"It's okay," Sera laughs. "The swim team?"

Rei nods.

"Don't worry about them. It'll be fine," Sera says, and Rei easily believes him.

Later that night, he receives a call from Nagisa. He doesn't even get the chance to speak.

"Rei-chan, we didn't make it, but we were really close! But we aren't sad! You know why? Rin-chan made up with us! We even swam a relay with him after the match and then he was crying, and then I was crying, and then you know, we were all crying."

Rei takes it all in, and then a smile makes its way across his face.

"I'm glad," he says.

Nagisa resumes squealing on the other end, and Rei doesn't mind. If this means the swim team will be back to their usual cheer, it's fantastic.

*******

What Rei isn't expecting, however, is to see Rin standing outside their school entrance. When he sees Rei, he straightens up and nods. Rei takes a quick glance around him - no, Rin is most certainly greeting him - and he hesitantly bows in response, clutching his green backpack tighter.

"Ryuugazaki, right?" Rin asks, walking up to Rei. "I wanted to talk to you."

Beat him up. Matsuoka Rin wants to beat him up.

"How about that new café that just opened up? Can we talk there?"

Rei blinks. Maybe he won't be beaten up?

He gives his consent and he follows Rin, unsure of what to say in this strange mood. Rin is the one who starts talking first.

"Sorry for being a dick the last time we met. I mean, you were kind of a dick too, but, in a good way. If that makes sense."

It sort of does.

After they get to the café, Rei orders a melon bread and cake fusion, one of their new products. Rin gets himself coffee, and they stare at their food in silence for a while.

"I wanted to thank you."

Rei blinks. "For what, exactly?"

"Knocking some sense into me," Rin gives him a small smile. "After I went to Australia..." Rin turns to gaze out of the window, absentmindedly stirring his drink. "I trained hard everyday and participated in tournaments. But I couldn't swim the way I wanted to. The Olympics were completely out of my reach. I felt like I was falling behind everyone else. Why I was struggling so much?" He looks into his cup, his voice soft. "Ah, I thought. It's because I swam in a relay. I ruined myself."

Rei's fork remains suspended in the air, his eyes trained on Rin's hunched figure.

"I swam with Haru after I came back, and I realised how much I didn't want to give up swimming. I blamed it all on Haru, even though it was me who gave up and ran back home. Watching them swim yesterday reminded me of how happy I was back then. I was pretty stupid this whole time, huh?" Rin looks up. There's a hint of self-deprecation in there, and Rei realises this boy must have been suffering on his own, too.

"Well, you made up with them, didn't you?" he offers Rin a smile. "If you've reconciled, then I'm glad for all of you."

"Mn." Rin's eyes are on him now, as if he's really looking at Rei for the first time, and the omega shuffles his feet, breaking the gaze a second later. He pokes at the cake, wondering when he can escape the scrutiny that is doing strange things to his heart. Thankfully, Rin decides to focus on his cup again. They make some small talk, and part ways.

The whole way home, Rei can't stop thinking of red hair and crimson eyes.

*******

After that, Rei hears of even more joint sessions. Rin comes by a lot more often, sometimes, by himself. Rei continues to sit to sit at the edge of the pool as he always has, drawn to rippling muscles and he often finds himself thinking about how beautiful Rin looks as he swims the butterfly. He buries his face in his knees a while later. Why on Earth is he thinking these things.

And Rin doesn't help. He talks to Rei a lot more often, pats him on the back, and ruffles his hair. Laughs his head off when Nagisa grabs his glasses and leaves him blindly wandering around the pool. On one such occasion, Rin grips his arm and guides him to where Nagisa is, and the places where his hands touched Rei continue to burn long afterwards.

Rei's at track practice one day, practicing the pole vault. He lands cleanly on the mat, feeling a rush of exhilaration that he's cleared yet another height. As he hops off the mat and pulls off his glasses, Sera walks up to him to give him some instructions. Their conversation is interrupted by a loud "You're so cool, Rei-chan!" and Rei actually squawks. Never-mind the less than beautiful sound, his heart drops into an abyss when he realises that Rin is sitting with the Iwatobi gang. Looking in his direction. Rei gives Nagisa a pointed look, tearing his eyes away from Rin, and proceeds to ignore them.

His toes feel jittery the next time he breaks into a run, and he takes a deep breath and vaults himself upward. He curves his body in the air and he clears the next height. His teammates jump him and ruffle his hair, congratulating him, and he can't help but sneak a glance at Rin. He looks away immediately, his cheeks flushed red. Rin's gaze on him seems predatory. Just your imagination, he tells himself.

They rarely see the third years around, soon after. They're preparing to graduate and all club activities have already stopped. Nagisa laments that he's going to be the captain by himself, but Rei reminds him that Gou will help him as the team manager. Over the holidays, Nagisa tries to teach Rei to swim, but they discover it's a hopeless case. He sinks like a rock. He's studied plenty of books, but he can't quite grasp how to do it.

One day, when he's practicing by himself in the school pool, he heard a loud snort of laughter. He looks up, appalled to see Rin clutching his stomach, shoulders shaking.

"Oh my god, I've never seen anyone sink so fast."

Rei frowns and looks away. "I can't swim anything but a little of the butterfly stroke."

"Want me to teach you?" Rin snickers.

Rei glares at him. "Everyone has tried to teach me so far, even Haruka-senpai and Makoto-senpai, despite this busy time! But it hasn't worked."

"I'm not Haru," Rin rolls his eyes. "I bet he was telling you to be free or something, right? Come on."

He pulls his clothes off, revealing swim trunks underneath, and dives into the pool. He comes uncomfortably close, and he takes Rei's hands. "Trust me."

A shiver runs down Rei's back. He nods.

He lets Rin guide him through the water, correcting his strokes, and his hand under Rei's back is a constant reminder of support. He stops being scared of sinking anymore, and he finds he's able to stay afloat a fraction of a second longer. It's the beginning of a few more weeks of this, and Rei takes to going over to Samezuka after Rin's training ends. His lessons with Rin go late into the night, and he apologises for taking up the boy's time. He shakes his head, praising Rei for improving so fast, and the omega thinks he'll lose his senses from the close proximity to Rin. The alpha's scent is starting to cloud his senses, and even when they're apart, he can feel it lingering around him.

One day, Nagisa gives his hair an experimental whiff and blanches. "Rei-chan!" he shrieks during the break, startling everyone present.

"What?" Rei asks, frozen in place.

"Are you dating Rin-chan?" Nagisa asks, and he has to clamp his hands over the boy's mouth as the rest of the class turns to stare at him. He drags Nagisa out, the tips of his hears burning.

"Nagisa-kun! Don't say something like that."

"But even I can smell it," Nagisa's eyes are wide. "Usually, I can't tell what the smells are, but this is definitely Rin-chan's."

"We're not dating," Rei says firmly.

"Then how come you smell like him?"

"I can't tell you just yet," Rei stutters, and before Nagisa can continue his interrogation, the bell rings. They head back to class before lessons begin and Rei can feel Nagisa's curious gaze on him the whole lesson. When school ends, he escapes when his best friend is distracted.

He ends up avoiding Nagisa all the time, until the day the swim team decides to have one last swim before the third years' exams officially begin. He's invited too, and Nagisa pounces on him the moment he's in the vicinity.

"Rei-chan," he says, voice all sweet, "You've been avoiding me!"

Rei shudders. "I'll show you why later, I promise, Nagisa."

The blond reluctantly lets go, and Rei can't help the tears that well up in his eyes when he shows the team how much he's progressed. Nagisa asks if he can ditch the Track team and join the swim club instead. He laughs at that.

"How come you improved so fast though?" Tanaka asks. "It's really amazing!"

"Ah, well," Rei pushes back a lock of wet hair. "I asked Rin-san for help, actually."

The others stare at him. "So that's why you smell like Rin-chan all the time!" Nagisa cries.

"I didn't plan to," he mutters, "it just happened. And he's been very patient with me."

There's some kind of ominous glint in Nagisa's eyes after that, and he doesn't like it one bit.

Rei decides to bake a batch of cookies to thank Rin for taking the time to teach him. When he hands them to Rin, the redhead looks at him in evident surprise before he gives Rei a bright smile and ruffles his hair.

"Thanks, Rei."

And no matter how much Rei wishes, he can't stop the butterflies in his stomach.

*******

  
Rin reluctantly gives Momotarou one cookie, and slaps his hand away when the boy attempts to steal one more. These are cookies Rei baked for him. He's not even sure himself why he's so possessive of the cookies.

Sousuke looks at him thoughtfully, but doesn't say anything.

Rin chews on one. He doesn't even like sweet things. He can clearly remember the look on Rei's face, scrunched up in concentration as he explains that he made it as nutritious as possible. "What a nerd," he mutters under his breath.

"A nerd you're attracted to?" Sousuke asks, looking at him from over the upper bunk.

"Shut _up_ , Sousuke," Rin snaps.

*******

  
Okay, maybe he _is_  attracted to the nerd. They're all supposed to be on suppressants, so Rin has no idea why Rei still smells so delectable. He wants to wrap his arms around the boy and cloud him with his scent, make sure no one would look at him twice because he would be Rin's.

"Rin-san?"

His eyes snap back to Rei who's watching him with concern. "Sorry, I zoned out."

"It's fine," Rei smiles.

Fuck.

Rei looks startled and he draws back from Rin.

"Pardon?"

Rin covers his mouth. Did he say that out loud?

"That's not what I meant," he stutters. "Uh, well, I did, but-"

Rei squirms. "You did?"

"No, I mean, not in a bad way!" Rin covers his face. Very suave, Matsuoka. You smooth motherfucker, you. Scare off your crush why don't you.

There's a pregnant pause. "Uh, in what way did you mean that, then?"

Rei is blushing like never before, as if to rival the redness of Rin's hair, and he feels himself go beet red.

"It was a 'you're really attractive and I can't stop thinking about you' fuck," Rin manages.

Rei squeaks. If it's possible, his blush worsens and he adjusts his glasses with a slight tremor. "I see," he manages, hands going up to cover his cheek. "I- I don't dislike it, then."

They both freeze. Stare at each other for a good while.

"Oh my god you _neeerd_ ," Rin leans back against his chair, his own cheeks flushing a vivid red. Rei's scent seems to amplify, invading his senses and making the alpha in him tumble restlessly.

"Rin-san, can I interpret that as a confession?" Rei asks, his voice steady.

Rin stands and closes the gap between them, pulling Rei into a tight hug.

"Yes, you goddamn nerd. Yes you can."

"Oh." The soft sound makes Rin shiver, and he noses Rei's neck, the sweet scent a thousand times better this close, and he wants to inhale it until he's drunk off it. Rei makes a small sound, like a whine, at the back of his throat, and he slowly hugs Rin's waist.

"Thank you, Rin-san," Rei sighs against him. "I-I like you too."

Rin doesn't remember being this happy in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (the chapter title sends me into a fit of giggles, only because it reminds me of when i was 14 and learning what it meant ["love at first sight"] and i used it to write a composition based on pictures we were given during an exam: on the wedding day, the bride is disgusted by her future groom's eating habits and happily elopes with the wedding photographer)
> 
> in other news, thank you so _so_ much for the response to the previous chapter  
>  i hope you enjoyed this one as well, and well, notice the not-so-subtle remake of the original confrontation?? i think that's definitely what changed their relationship entirely in canon, as well as rin's with the iwatobi gang, so i couldn't bear to pass up on it  
> (at this rate, it'll become a "how many times can i change the same scene" because i've alr done this two times orz)
> 
> and finally, i have one more totally pwp chapter, but that'll be shelved for later. as for further updates, december onwards is definite!  
> thank you again for all you lovely people who follow this story. it means a lot and warms my brokoro. 
> 
> i'm sleepy, i own up to all ridiculous mistakes i definitely have made- orz


	6. chaque moment qui passe est bien trop douloureux (partie 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3rd season?!!?!  
> revive the rinrei!!!!

**_every passing moment is far too painful (part 1)_ **

Ryuugazaki Raiden remembers the first time he hid his dirt-streaked face in his mother's skirt, clinging to her warmth. That encompassing love is etched in every part of him, but it's not enough. His eyes burn. His mother has never been frail; in his eyes, she is strength. The thread that ties their family together. The voice that called out to him as he set out into a dark night, tattoos inked on his skin. As his mother's shoulders shake, he feels like a helpless child again.

"I thought we were going to lose him," her voice breaks. "Oh, Rai- What do we do now?"

Her eyes are shadowed, and tears streak her cheeks.

"Mom, Dad is coming soon, okay?" he manages, his voice almost a whisper. "I want you to rest now. You didn't get any sleep at all. I'll go check up on Rei. Promise me you'll take a break?"

She nods, covering her face and letting Raiden guide her to a seat nearby.

With a pained glance in her direction, Raiden turns towards the ward Rei is in.

His head throbs. He has been such a fool- So willing to play into the act. To think that everything can go back to the way it was. Because hell, it would be easier. It would be, if they could pretend that nothing happened. To lose himself in the deception of his brother's smile.

When he walks into the ward, Rei is lying motionless. He's hooked up on an IV, his breath rising and falling softly. Crimson splattered on the floor and a pained choke.

Raiden remembers the exact moment Rei fell on his knees, clutching his stomach.

"Ryuugazaki-san?"

He looks up, realises that there are imprints of crescents in his palm.

The doctor gives him a faint smile. "I'm Murasaki. Could I talk to you for a moment?"

*******

"Do you know what happened?"

Raiden shakes his head. "I just- I got home from work. And then my mother shouted." He presses his lips to trembling knuckles. The doctor says nothing, waiting for him to continue.

"When I ran down, I saw them standing in the living room. I didn't get it at first," Raiden leans back, his eyes closed. There's a bitter aftertaste in his mouth. "But then I saw the blood on the floor. And then he wouldn't stop coughing. At some point, he was just struggling to breathe. And he fell, but he didn't go unconscious. The whole time, he was just in so much pain, and I couldn't- I'm his big brother but I couldn't-" At this point, Raiden covers his face, swallowing.

"Ryuugazaki-san, it's alright," the doctor places a coarse hand on his. "Your brother hid everything too well."

"What do you mean?" Raiden presses his thumbs to his eyes, willing the tears to dry.

"He's stabilised now, but what he was doing could have been fatal. I want you to listen to me carefully."

Murasaki's eyes are unreadable as his fingers brush against a brown folder on his lap. "All cases of assault are brutal and traumatic. There's no such thing as one experience being worse than the other. However, your brother's circumstances drove him to the edge. His teacher, who should have been a trusted adult, took advantage of him when he was on his heat. Now, you understand that heat is a necessary physiological process in all omegas. Hence, most omegas have one every three to four months. His memories of the act itself are very blurry, but the video evidence shows that he struggled violently right before the teacher overpowered him and knocked him unconscious. Now, his heat is strongly interlinked with the experience, and it is likely that he has been suffering from an intense aversion to the thought of his next heat."

After this, Murasaki pauses as if to give Raiden room to breathe. He stands and picks up a tube of pale blue pills.

"Here," he shows them to Raiden. "They're easily acquired over the counter."

"What are these?" Raiden murmurs.

"They delay omega heats. Most of the time, only older omegas use them to avoid going into heat if they want to have sex with their partners without worrying about a child. But there's a dosage that must be strictly followed."

"Did Rei use these?" Raiden looks up, his throat constricting.

Murasaki nods, his expression grave. "He overdosed on them. We took a sample of his blood, and the concentration is dangerously high. I suspect that the closer it became to when he normally had his heat, he took even more than he already was. But it's damaging if not controlled, just like any other drug. That's why he collapsed today."

Raiden doesn't know what to say. He stares at the bottle of pills, wondering where he was looking while his brother was slowly killing himself inside. Because in his head, Rei was perfectly rational. His precious, composed little brother. Rei always knew what he was doing.

"I screwed up bad, Doc'," he laughs, even as the tears finally escape. "So bad."

*******

Raiden is the only one who knows for now.

("I shall talk to your parents later. Your mother is under a lot of stress, you've noticed, yes?")

When he walks back into Rei's ward, his brother is up. He's leaning against the pillow, head facing the window on the far end.

"Rei?"

His brother turns around as if struck, his eyes dilated.

"Hey, it's just me," Raiden smiles.

Rei gives him a sloped smile. "Nii-san." The smile flickers out, and he looks down, silent.

Raiden sits at the edge of the bed, and his heart clenches as Rei tenses up.

"Do you remember when I came home with that huge cut on my shoulder?"

Rei looks up, surprise taking over, as if it wasn't what he has been expecting.

"It was, what, one in the morning? And Mom and Dad were worried sick. But you were the best part of that night." Raiden chuckles, tracing the path of the scar on his right shoulder.

"You came and kicked me down like you were running to vault or something, and then you screamed at me so much you started crying."

He looks at his brother, a soft smile on his face. "Then I cried with you. And Mom came and throttled me before she realised she had to bring out the bandages. And the whole time, Dad was just squatting next to me, with his hand on my head."

Rei's voice is hoarse and close to inaudible when he speaks. "I remember. I was so scared. What if you didn't come back?"

Raiden reaches out to brush aside his brother's blue locks, and this time, Rei doesn't shy away. He stays still, his lips pressed together.

"I don't know how you felt back then," Raiden murmurs. "But I think I do now. That day, you told me to talk to you. Rei, I want you to talk to me too. Because you're hurting, and I need you to know that I'm here. I was scared of a lot of things back then, but the worst part was admitting it to myself. You always speak your mind, but there's just these little things you keep. And it's destroying you, Rei. Please, no matter how long it takes, talk to me. I love you."

Rei looks down, bunching up the white sheets.

"I'm scared," he whispers. "I don't want to feel this anymore. I don't want to feel so weak again," he shudders, hunching over. "There was a part of me that wanted it, and I hate it." A raw sob tears through him and Raiden gathers his brother in his arms, blanketing him in what he hopes makes him feel safe.

"I've never hated being an omega," Rei cries, wrapping his arms tightly around Raiden's neck. "I don't want to feel like that again, Nii-san, but the nightmares won't stop."

The rest of his words become a stream, and collide and make no sense, but Raiden holds Rei close until he's exhausted and falls asleep in his arms.

Raiden gently lets his brother down and adjusts him until he's lying down on the pillow. He sits there in dazed silence until he hears footsteps and looks up. His mother and father stand in the doorway, and he gives them a weary grin despite the emotion weighing in his heart like boulder upon boulder.

His mother, a head shorter than him, presses a kiss to his forehead. He feels calmer, like he's standing in a glade of dancing dandelions.

"The both of you are our precious sons. Thank you for taking care of Rei."

"Even though-"

His father cuts him off, coming to stand at the edge of the bed.

"None of us noticed. Or maybe we wanted to believe Rei was really getting better, because watching him hurt was painful. We'll do better this time, all of us. Seems like we still have to learn, although your reckless stunts should've taught us better."

At this, they exchange wry grins and they stay by Rei. For now, at least, his dreams seem peaceful.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this chapter was good!! it doesn't focus on rei per se, but i really wanted to get this one out? healing takes a lot of time for both the victim and the people close to the victim, and it'll never be perfectly okay but rei has the strength and support of his family ;; i played around with raiden's character (also indulgent me making a name bcs none of rei's family is named) and i'll reveal more about him later on  
> -  
> i didn't actually know about s3, until i came out of my cave and realised literally a few days ago. i was so happy, and i hope there'll be more rinrei ahh-  
> exams drained my soul, but i came alive today! my exams officially end in about 3 days, after which, although i promised updates, my december schedule is packed with vacation :"))  
> I might not update as often as I like to because I'm still figuring out what internships I'd like to do, or if I want to pick up a job while waiting for news on uni. Even so, I hope you'll keep your eye on this because I had countless fantasies and ideas for this fic it got a little out of hand Orz  
> Thank you so much always for your lovely comments and all the support!


	7. ce bonheur n'est pas impossible

**_this happiness is not impossible_ **

"What's my favourite nerd up to?"

A soft chuckle. Rin can imagine the bemused expression on Rei's face and he finds a smile tugging his own lips upward.  
  
_"I was writing a lab report for today. Maybe you should've joined the fire department."_

Rin blinks. "The- What? What does that have to do with your lab report?"

There's telling silence on the other end and Rin groans. "Did you blow up the lab again?"

 _"Maybe,"_ Rei snickers. _"It wasn't so much an explosion as an expression of my individualism."_

"God, Rei, you're such a safety hazard. Maybe I need to monitor you all day to make sure no one else gets caught up in your mess."

 _"That'd be nice,"_ Rei says, and that wistful undertone in his voice makes Rin want to dash out of his dorm and hop on the next train to Rei's university.

"I miss you," Rin murmurs. "I wish I could be there."

 _"And have everyone falling over their feet before you? No thank you,"_ Rei huffs. _"And, well, you said you're visiting on your break, right?"_

"I'll be there," Rin promises. "I love you. Call me if you need me, yeah? I promised your parents I'd take care of you."

 _"Love you too, you hovering nuisance,"_ Rei says on the other end. _"My roommate is back. I have to go. Good night, Rin-san."_

"Good night, Rei. Have the sweetest dreams."

*******

Kawai Mika has always had an inherent fascination for the unabashed nerds. The ones who have their noses quite literally buried in their books, occasionally colliding with a wall, or those who have smatters of whatever their last meal was in that upturned part of the shirt collar. Then, there's Ryuugazaki Rei. He turns up to all lectures. All of them. He pushes his glasses up that ridiculously sharp nose of his, scribbles notes that are still somehow legible, and there's not a single day that she has seen anything about him in disarray. Not even his stupidly perfect hair. Mika finds it particularly odd, then, that he defies all expectations and hardly asks anything in class. When she glances back at Rei occasionally, she's alarmed by the questions written all over his face, his lips doing a strange twist that's genuinely painful to watch. But there's barely a word out of him. The professors have to prompt Rei because that desperate look doesn't miss anyone's attention, after which Rei will break out into a series of worrying coughs before choking out the question.

They get to know each other by complete accident (well, almost).

It's clear that everyone in their tutorial wants to befriend Rei. He's attractive, tall, intelligent, and the list goes on. Mika knows the young man stays in the Omega/Beta dormitory, and it isn't hard to figure out his second gender from there. He actively defies the omega stereotypes with a vigour that makes even Mika want to support him for any cause he decides to spearhead. So she watches him, sometimes, while he sits at a nearby table in the study area, poring over a thick book. His roommate, a beta called Atsuji, sinks into the opposite seat on Thursdays and bemoans his lack of a love life. Rei looks up at these times, his violet eyes twinkling with amusement and he goes back to reading.

And then one Thursday, it isn't Atsuji who sits opposite Rei. It's one of their lecturers, the one who always looks baffled when Rei hesitates during tutorials. Rei looks up, and there's something about the action that bleeds tension. Mika finds herself moving to a closer table. The book on the table is forgotten, and his white-knuckled grip on the handle of the cup does not ease up. She catches wind of their conversation - "Feel free to ask more questions in class." "I'll try, thank you." - and she supposes there's nothing upsetting about that. As she turns to move, she sees the lecturer reach out to give Rei a friendly pat and the younger man _jerks_. Tea splashes over the edge of the table and drips a dark patch on his navy pants, and Rei looks just about as aghast as the professor.

"I'm so sorry about that," the professor stands, and Rei's mouth flaps open and close.

Mika shoves her hand into her bag, grabs the pack of tissues and runs up to the table. Up this close, Rei's distress couldn't be more palpable, and the professor's distinct discomfort and muddled confusion make her hackles rise. The protective surge has her on the brink of glaring at the teacher. She focuses on the omega instead, offering him the tissues.

"Here."

He looks up at her, and she realises that he actually recognises her. "Thank you, Ms Kawai."

"Call me Mika," she smiles, and his shoulders sink a little lower, posture less defensive.

When Rei's done dabbing at his trousers, he stands and looks at the professor, a small smile on his face. "Sorry about that, Sensei. I was a little startled. I'll try and be more participative in class. Thank you for your concern."

The alpha nods, and with a wave, he walks away.

Rei sits back down, and that's when Mika notices his hands. They're trembling, and it hurts to see.

"Say," she starts, "You're Ryuugazaki, right? We have lectures together. There's this part I didn't understand in our last lecture. Mind helping me out?"

His eyes widen (and the alpha in her be damned at the way her heart squeezes) and he pushes his glasses up his nose with a shaky grin. "I'd be glad to. And please, my friends call me Rei."

Which is how they start studying together at the university café, and over the course of the year and the next, a steady group from their lectures join them. Mika can see the exact moment each member of their group falls into the unofficial (but definitely existent) Ryuugazaki Rei Fanclub, and they stare at him, star-struck as he explains theories and lectures. Of course, their illusion of him being cool and composed shatters along the way, but his crazy attention to precision and perfection make him all the more loveable. Although they're wary of him in the lab, what with all the explosions that inevitably happen. While Rei is older than the rest of the group by a year, Mika remains the oldest at twenty-two in their second year.

It's late July, the sweltering heat threatening to melt the skin off their bodies, and students who stay in the dormitories are sprawled out in the empty, air-conditioned sports hall. Two damn weeks since Rei left to go to his hometown, and Atsuji's ceaseless whining continues to fly over Mika's head. She doesn't understand how she became a substitute for Rei's roommate.

"Look, there's plenty of mixers. Just shut up and go for one of those."

"Why are all the good people taken?" Atsuji groans, smacking the wooden floor.

Mika rolls her eyes. "You have a perfectly good one in your room."

Atsuji blinks and stares at her. He sits up with such speed that Mika is tempted to crawl away.

"You don't know?"

The young woman frowns. "Don't know what?"

"Rei's taken," he whispers, but it's _loud_ , like a whisper shouldn't be, so all the occupants in the room hall their heads at him in absolute horror. They sit in stunned silence before everyone piles on the beta, demanding answers.

"C'mon guys, I thought it was obvious!"

"No it wasn't!"

Atsuji overpowers their shrieking with a pained groan and lifts a hand to silence them. "I don't know, okay? But I'm pretty sure he does, 'cause he always calls someone every weekend when I'm out."

"That doesn't mean it's a partner!" someone protests.

Mika opts to lie down on the ground and contemplate that. Huh.

*******

No one stops mooning over Rei when he returns from summer vacation very obviously taken. _Bonded_ taken. Now, the fervent adoration has become a sort of melancholy longing, and Mika finds the whole situation alarmingly hilarious. No one asks, but they eye the silver band around Rei's wrist from time to time. It's exquisite, with a jagged design running across it in an infinite loop. The more obvious sign is the telling bruise on his neck that is fading to a teeth-shaped mark. An alpha, then. Well, they definitely didn't need that level of observation to smell the change in his scent, because even suppressants can't conceal the distinct edge mixed in with Rei's subtle one.

"What?" Rei looks at Mika, his glasses riding on the edge of his nose, and the way his eyebrows scrunch together is _adorable_. She hadn't meant to stare, but the boy is a little jittery today and she's burning to know why.

"You've been staring at the same page for ten minutes. Everything okay?"

"Oh," Rei fumbles with his glasses, and for the first time, Mika sees his cheeks redden and the flush spreads to his ears. "It's, just. Well, my boyfriend is coming to see me today."

He struggles with "boyfriend" like he's swallowing poorly-made espresso.

Behind Mika, something (or someone) crashes to the ground, and Rei leans to the side to look past her, aghast. "Are you all right?"

The rest of the day, everyone is in a terrible jumble, including Rei, who has his fingers ghosting his bracelet every few seconds. Atsuji has somehow become the unanimous leader of the Ryuugazaki Rei Fanclub, and they're all gathered at their usual hangout. An ominous cloud hangs over his head and everyone remains in solemn silence. Mika's struggling to hold back her laughter, but she's equally curious to know what kind of guy has snagged up their beloved Rei.

"Here's the thing," Atsuji announces, "If he's an asshole, I don't care if they're bonded. Okay, but he seems like a decent guy from their calls. Which I don't listen to, by the way."

"Are you still on Earth?" someone quips. "You do realise relationships don't work like in your stupid American shows."

Atsuji staggers back in disbelief, clutching his heart. "How dare you-"

And Mika spends the rest of the time carding her hands through her dark locks, praying for the already infamous boyfriend to turn up so that this ridiculous debacle will stop, and Atsuji (and the rest of this hopeless bunch) can move on.

*******

Rei's "seems like a decent guy" boyfriend turns up unannounced in their third year, but they might as well have announced him because he spectacularly shoots down everyone's expectations six feet under.

(In retrospect, they should've realised that someone like Rei would have found himself the best kind of person.)

It's summer break of their third year, and Mika is half falling asleep next to Rei as someone in the circle shares about their day. It's become a sort of ritual - third year means everyone's on their respective internships, and they have taken to relieving the stress by expressing their feelings about the day, and their experiences. But it's evening, and Mika has had a rough day. Her dorm feels like it's aeons away now, and Rei's shoulder is a far better alternative to walking to her room. He lightly nudges her to keep her awake, but that's a lost cause.

And then she's rudely knocked out of her fleeting dream as Rei straightens up, inadvertently pushing her head off his shoulder. She blinks awake, suddenly aware of a different scent, one that definitely wasn't present before. Everyone else is staring towards the entrance of the hall, and she turns her head, the last vestiges of sleep leaving her at the sight of the red-haired man pushing the door behind him close. Rei stands, his eyes wide, and then it's like watching a dam burst. He doesn't run - but it sure as hell isn't walking when he glides towards the stranger, their eyes never leaving the other. They don't end with an embrace, but it couldn't be anything less, with the way Rei grasps the other man's cheek, and the resulting smiles painting their faces.

Dear lord. Anyone who said they hadn't felt themselves melt was a liar.

When the couple finally pulls apart and Rei gives them an abashed grin, Mika proceeds to note the rest. The boyfriend has rugged good looks (check), impressive muscles (check), ridiculously pretty eyes (check) and overall fantastic alpha vibes (check).

"Well, fuck," someone whispers into the silence, and that just about sums it up.

The boyfriend (Matsuoka Rin) is, unfortunately for Atsuji, genuinely nice. He also happens to be a police officer who graduated at the top of his class from the Metropolitan Police Academy, and he has been with Rei for about five years now. He occasionally shoots Mika a look, which she cannot decipher. When the group breaks up and they separate, Rei running ahead to his dorm room with promises to make it presentable, Rin pulls Mika aside.

Mika prepares herself for some typical alpha posturing, but Rin continues to defy her expectations. The first words that leave his mouth are "Thank you", and she blinks. As if hearing her unvoiced question, he gives her a small smile.

"For getting to know Rei. He tells me about how he didn't expect to end up with such a great group of friends he could spend time with. Being here in Tokyo so far from home can get taxing, but he told me you were one of the first few people he met who have stuck by him. So thank you, because it means a lot to me that he feels safe and happy here."

There's a story behind it, Mika suddenly understands. She doesn't prod. It's not Rin's story to tell, nor is it her place to ask. The redhead seems grateful for that, and they stand in companionable silence until Rei reappears.

The bubbling happiness in her chest, she identifies later, stems from the profound relief that Rei's Bonded is his pillar of strength, someone who loves him as dearly as Rei does him.

And that's enough for her.

("Atsuji, when will you stop following Rin and Rei? It's bad enough that you want one of them, and now you want both?")

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy boys!! this is the height of indulgence people i'm really not holding back - but who doesn't want to see these boys from someone else's perspective? so we zoom forward in time from the previous chapter - rei's in university wuhuu  
> there's so much editing i have yet to do!! ahh ;; i found some time to write this because i can't believe it's been so long since i last updated?? it's ridiculous! 
> 
> i will update the chapter titles with english translations at a later date, and i can't guarantee frequent updates but it makes me really happy to see that y'all are still keeping up with this <3 thank you!


	8. liens

_**ties (that which bind)** _

It's not different from any other summer day, when the stifling heat keeps everyone at home and the fans are on full blast. Outside, the trees remain a cheery green, and Rei finds himself wondering if the colour will melt off, like the sweat trickling down the back of his neck. It's a little more than ridiculous, but it just _is_ that hot.

And then the bell rings, startling Rei out of his thoughts. His brother groans and rolls off the couch, onto the wooden floor.

"Who the heck is out in this heat?"

"Language, Raiden," their mother chides as she walks past him to get to the door. Her cheeks are flushed red and she pushes her dark hair back as she pulls the door open.

They stare at their visitor, who offers a sheepish smile, but Rei reads the slight twitch in his eye to be nervousness. And then he remembers he's reclining on the couch, wearing his brother's oversized tank top, straps falling past his shoulders. And his hair is an absolute mess.

With a squawk, Rei slides off the couch and narrowly misses stepping on his brother's head as he dashes up the stairs. Raiden snorts and waves at Rin, uncaring of the fact that he is without a top; the tattoos spiralling across his chest are nothing to hide.

"Rin, come in," Ryuugazakai Kouka smiles, gesturing for the redhead to enter. "What brings you here today?"

"Well," he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, hiding something behind him. "I'm sorry for turning up without warning, but I did want to surprise Rei. I have a request of you and Ryuugazaki-san."

There is a knowing twinkle in Kouka's lilac eyes and she gives Rin a warm smile. "Of course. Give me a minute to call my husband down."

Rin nods, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows thickly.

"What're you hiding?" Raiden raises an eyebrow.

"You can't see it yet," Rin shakes his head, and Raiden stands, mischief evident in the very movement.

"I mean it, seriously," Rin backs away, his stance tense.

Before Raiden has a chance to pounce and find out, Kouka and her husband, Yuuma, make their way down the stairs, Rei trailing behind them. He gives Rin a bashful smile, having changed into a more presentable shirt and his hair neatly combed to the sides.

Rin resists a chuckle, his lips quirking into a smile.

"Um, please, have a seat," Rin gestures at the couch, cheeks taking on a dark shade when he realises he's asking them to sit down in their own house. "All of you."

Kouka laughs, and they sit together on the couch, facing Rin.

"I've been thinking about this for a long time, and I decided that it is finally the right time for me to do this," Rin starts, his voice faltering for a second before he takes a deep breath and kneels before them.

Rei's eyes widen as Rin reveals what he's holding on to. He places it before them and bows, his crimson hair delicately tracing the floor. When Rin looks up, there is a determination that is more pronounced than before, his back straight and hands folded over his lap.

The bouquet between them - a stunning palette of purples and whites, filling the room with the scent of lavender and spring - is encircled with a single silver band at its base.

Rei knows what this is, and he can't wrap his head around it.

"I, Matsuoka Rin, alpha, am here to seek your blessings to form a Bond with your son, Ryuugazaki Rei, omega. These past few years have been tumultuous for us, but it has not lessened my love for him, only made it stronger. He is brave, strong, passionate and beautiful. There is no one more suited for me than Rei. If he will have me, I promise my absolute devotion."

When Rin looks at Kouka, he sees nothing but joy and tears in her eyes. She is holding on tightly to her husband's hand, lips pressed together. When she composes herself, she gives him a brilliant smile and Rin finds Rei's own smile in the curve of hers. Exchanging a glance with Yuuma, she turns to him and bows her head lightly.

"We give you our blessings." Her voice overlaps with her husband's, and they turn to Rei, who looks too stunned to say anything. When Raiden nudges him, he blinks rapidly and coughs. Giving his family members an uncertain look, Rei stands and approaches, stopping right before the bouquet.

He mirrors Rin.

The alpha holds his breath.

And Rei picks up the bouquet, his gaze reverent as he clutches it close to him and takes a deep breath. Rin sees a stray tear roll down Rei's eye but says nothing, his knuckles already white from how tightly he has clenched his fists.

Rei looks Rin straight in the face, beaming.

"I accept."

Before Rin can exhale (at last, Rei will be _his_ and he, Rei's), Raiden quips in.

"Hey, no one's gonna ask me if I want my little brother to be Bonded?"

*******

The light glints off the silver band around Rei's wrist when he enters Rin's house, and Matsuoka Miyako gathers him in her arms and holds him tight. Rei hesitantly wraps his hands around her and takes in the wonderful scent, so much like Rin, yet so very different.

"I promise my devotion to Rin, as he has to me," Rei murmurs, and Miyako steps back with a grin.

"I have no doubts. It's nice that someone else will be taking care of my troublesome son."

"I'm not troublesome," Rin grumbles, as Gou bounds down the stairs, her eyes brighter than stars when she sees Rei.

"Yes, you are," she lightly pokes Rin in the shoulder in passing. Gou smothers Rei in a hug with a strength that is not obvious from her stature.

"Well, then, we will be off," Miyako winks, and Rei suddenly notices her handbag on the table, and that Gou is dressed to go out.

"Take care," Gou waggles her eyebrows and giggles as she links arms with her mother, pulling her out the door. "We're going to stay at Grandma's place tonight."

Before Rei can respond, they're out and he's left in silence with Rin, who runs a hand through his hair and starts adjusting his shirt.

"I mean," Rin breaks the growing embarrassment in the air, "We don't have to- Right now. You know. Whatever you want, we can do. Uh, well, we haven't had time together at all because of school either so-"

He's cut off by the soft press of lips against his own, and he steadies himself, wrapping one arm around Rei's waist. When Rei breaks away, he smirks.

"Retreating, Mr Policeman?"

"If Mr Scientist isn't afraid to experiment, then you can be assured I'm not backing off," Rin replies, cupping Rei's cheek in his hand and pressing their foreheads together.

Rei leans into the touch, a faint smile on his face. "Yeah."

"C'mon, then," Rin grabs his hand, leading him upstairs. "It's too damn hot to do anything here."

*******

The air is thick with pheromones - the heat barely alleviated by the whirring fan - and Rei stands at the edge of the bed. His hands are trembling (he can't help it, why won't they just stop?) and it isn't because he's afraid, he knows that. As he struggles with his sash, hands gently enclose his and squeeze. Rin's scent warms him to the core, like a sip of hot chocolate on a freezing winter morning.

"Hey, relax," Rin nuzzles his cheek, and Rei realises he's not the only one who's letting his nerves get the best of him. Rin's hands are cold to the touch, despite the humidity draping the room. Rei lets Rin undo the knot, and watches with bated breath as his Bonded-to-be tugs at the sash, and then he's turning in the spot, chuckling as Rin continues to pull at the sash.

"This is ridiculous," Rin snickers. "I feel like I'm unwrapping a present."

Rei tumbles into Rin's chest as the last roll of the sash is pulled off and they burst into laughter, clinging to each other. The redhead's chin is resting on Rei's shoulder, and they sway in place for a moment, simply breathing in their scents.

"Let's figure this out together," Rin says, pressing a kiss to Rei's cheek. The younger man nods, letting his robe slip off his shoulders, baring himself to Rin. There is a sharp inhale and then Rin lets Rei pull his off. They stare at each other, cheeks reddening before Rin pulls Rei close and guides him to the bed.

The nakedness is not entirely new - but the touches are cautious. Lips pressed together, they explore and Rei shudders as Rin's hand wanders south. He's not in heat, yet every trace of skin that Rin touches burns and his stomach coils in anticipation. Rei pinches Rin's nipple, pressing a kiss to his chest when Rin moans at the unexpected stimulation.

"Okay?" Rin's hand pauses right above his half-erect cock and Rei bucks his hips up involuntarily, a whine at the back of his throat.

"Yes, please, Rin-san. Please."

He sinks into the pillow, mouth open in a soundless gasp as Rin's hand begins to rub his cock, up and down, in a motion that makes him dizzy with pleasure. And then he feels it - the tentative touch at his puckered entrance, faint trails of slick escaping.

"Rei," Rin's voice feels distant, and he shudders. "Rei, tell me, how do you feel?"

It is a question that is loaded - and Rei understands everything that Rin is asking. He knows his answer.

"I'm feeling good, Rin-san, please, don't stop."

Rei gasps as Rin slathers the cold lube over both of them. A kiss pressed to the inside of his thigh, and then the crook of Rin's finger is gently breaching his entrance. Rei bites his lip, his hand finds Rin's other and they hold on tightly as Rin relaxes him. It is slow at first until Rei pushes and demands more. Rin squeezes his thigh and then the finger reaches deeper, rubbing against his walls as slick begins to gush out. The unfamiliar sensation that makes him curl his toes is getting stronger with every push of Rin's finger and he grips the older man's arm, his breath coming in short gasps.

"Put it in, Rin-san."

Rin pauses, his cheeks as dark as Rei's and his eyes crinkle as he smiles. "Hold on tight, then." Rei manages a huff of laughter and he locks his legs around Rin as the redhead presses the tip of his cock to Rei's leaking entrance. He pushes in slowly, and then pauses to give Rei time to adjust. When the omega lightly toes Rin's back, he pushes in and elicits a surprised wheeze. Before he can express any concern, Rei shuts him up by pulling him down for a kiss and shifts his hips up.

"I'm fine, keep going," Rei murmurs in his ear and Rin understands Rei's unfaltering faith in him. His cock is throbbing in Rei's heat, and the pleasure sends shivers through his body. Rin increases the pace, slamming into Rei's body as it feels like his carnal desires as an alpha are taking over. He knows he's doing it right when Rei's breath stutters and he grips the bedsheets, tightening his legs around Rin's waist. _My omega_.

"I'm close," Rei gasps, tears leaking from his eyes. His cock is throbbing, and Rin's thrusts are becoming erratic.

"Me too," Rin's voice is breathless. "Let go, Rei, I'm here." He fists Rei's cock, driving the omega over the edge and Rei blanks out as the tight heat in his groin snaps, cum splattering over his chest and Rin's stomach. His alpha ( _mate_ to him now, so wonderful and precious) reaches orgasm moments later, and Rei tilts his neck, wrapping his arms around Rin's neck as teeth sink into the soft flesh at the junction of his neck and shoulder.

Rin sinks onto him, and then flops onto the space next to Rei, his chest heaving. They cling to each other, Rin licking at the wound on Rei's neck. It stings, but it brings a wave of relief and happiness - the Bonding bite.

It is a paradox; nothing has changed, yet everything is different.

He doesn't think he can explain this feeling of being whole, so full and so treasured. And by the looks of it, neither can Rin. They simply brush aside hair matted with sweat, and exchange soft kisses.

"I love you," he whispers against Rin's lips.

_I love you. Thank you for loving me, even when I was too afraid to see it, too scared to break again. For helping me bloom in the murky waters I was lost in._

"And I, you."

*******

Rin has almost fallen into the clutches of sleep when he hears Rei saying something. 

"What?"   
  
"I said," Rei repeats, louder this time. "It's good we're not living in the past."   
  
"Why?" Rin mumbles, struggling to open his eyes.

"'Cause there aren't any old geezers watching us having sex."   
  
Rin almost tumbles off the bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh since I can't exactly explain some things within the story here's some worldbuilding facts:
> 
>   * Traditionally, alphas are supposed to ask for permission from the omega's parents (as Rin did) and they will present a bouquet that represents what their omega smells like to them 
>   * There's also traditional robes they wear before they consummate, and Bonding is more official for an alpha and omega, as opposed to marriage, which is merely a formality (more important to betas, who don't have Bonding ceremonies) 
>   * With reference to what Rei says at the end, it's because a lot of marriages in the past were arranged and they would have senior members from either side of the family be the "witnesses" to ensure the couple consummates the marriage and become mates 
> 

> 
> Can I just say that Rin's mom is wonderful and rly playful? Watching her interact with Rin and Gou when I watched the movie on the big screen was so incredible ;; She's so strong.
> 
> And I always ramble so much but I feel like me writing the porn.. wasn't supposed to be very erotic.. or I just didn't have that kind of feeling??? So if it's a letdown, I apologise. I just felt like I needed a sweeter atmosphere? I don't know how to explain it and my mind is in a bit of a jumble, so do let me know what you thought of it!! 
> 
> And in others news:  
> wow has it actually been 5 months since I last updated?? ? i?? have no words aaa  
> the good news it that I've started uni!! And possibly will pick up dancing and now that I've most of my life together, I can focus on writing fics when I get the time u v u I'm sad I didn't get to progress this faster, and I have yet to catch up with Dive to the Future; all I can say is, I REPLAY EVERY SCENE WITH REI IN IT AT LEAST 3 TIMES /flails  
> It's so tragic that RinRei are far away ;;;;;; Please put my babies back together some time (in the op sequence where Rei is sitting in the car, I like to imagine that Rin is the one driving so they'll be cute sitting next to each other)  
> 


End file.
